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National Child Abuse Registries

Posted by Sandra On July - 3 - 2016 ADD COMMENTS

Bills_introduced_to_create_child_abuse_r_3537870000_25032680_ver1.0_640_480The Adam Walsh Child Protection and Safety Act requires states to “check any child abuse and neglect registry maintained by the State for information on any prospective foster or adoptive parent and on any other adult living in the home of such a prospective parent, and request any other State in which any such prospective parent or other adult has resided in the preceding 5 years, to enable the State to check any child abuse and neglect registry maintained by such other State for such information, before the prospective foster or adoptive parent may be finally approved for placement of a child” and to ‘‘comply with any request described…(above) that is received from another State.”

Adam Walsh Information and Forms

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7/3/2016 – GEORGIA – Georgia is the latest state to launch a child abuse registry. The Division of Family and Children Services on Friday launched a registry allowing employers of certain child-serving agencies to find out if a job applicant was deemed an alleged child abuser by the division. The central child abuse registry, called the Child Protective Services Information System, will include names of people who allegedly abused a child. The registry will only be accessible to certain child caring employers and agencies, allowing these employers to learn if an applicant has a substantiated allegation of abuse with the division. READ MORE HERE

State Child Abuse Registries

Child Abuse Registries in Foreign Countries and Geographic Entities

MDHHS – Central Registry – State of Michigan

Disclosure of Confidential Child Abuse and Neglect Records

Beyond Background Checks – Perform A Child Abuse Registry Check

Establishment and Maintenance of Central Child Abuse Registries

Dissecting a Pedophile

Posted by Sandra On June - 18 - 2016 ADD COMMENTS

Why are some people attracted to children?

What is a pedophile?

200569163-001Pedophiles (as defined by the fifth Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) are individuals who are preferentially or solely sexually attracted to prepubescent children, generally 13 years or less. There are distinct classifications for other attractions to children, depending on the developmental stage the adult is sexually attracted to. Those who find children on the cusp of puberty sexually attractive are known as “hebephiles”. “Ephebophiles” are individuals who are sexually attracted to children who have reached puberty.

Not all pedophiles are child sex offenders, and conversely not all child sex offenders are pedophiles. Some people who sexually abuse children are not preferentially attracted to children at all. The abuse is a matter of opportunity: the child is a sexual surrogate for an unavailable adult or the abuse represents a need to dominate and control another human being.

So, to de-muddy the water, I will restrict this discussion to those with an attraction to children: preferential child sex offenders. READ MORE HERE

International Child Abduction

Posted by Sandra On May - 3 - 2016 ADD COMMENTS

Everything You Need to Know About International Child Abuse

2007_report_child_planeBeing in the situation where a partner has taken your child to another country can be stressful enough, but it can be made much, much worse if you have reason to believe that your child may be coming to harm in their care. International child abuse cases can often be quite difficult and extremely stressful, especially if you have little or no contact with the child. A common example of this type of case is a violent partner who has fled the country, taking your child with them. Getting custody in the case of international child abduction by a partner can be difficult, however if abuse is suspected it may be easier to get your child back.

Report to the Authorities

The first thing that you should do on discovering that an abusive partner or ex partner has fled the country with your child is report it to the authorities. If you have records of your partner/ex partner being abusive towards either you or the child in the past, your case with undoubtedly be stronger. If you have never reported any abuse before, now is the time that you must. Going straight to the police can help you ensure that you get the best assistance in returning your child safely to you and dealing with your partner accordingly.

Get a Lawyer

You will also most likely need to get legal help in the case of international child abduction by a partner, and definitely if abuse is involved. The country where your partner or ex partner has fled to can sometimes cause problems, therefore if they have gone to a non-extradition country it may be more difficult for you to get your child back home, even if the partner has a history of abuse or violence. Getting the help of an international child custody lawyer from a law firm such as Ideal Legal Group as soon as possible can help you to build a strong case against your partner or ex partner quickly. They will also be able to offer advice and assistance on the type of trial or custody hearing which you can expect to attend, and which country it will need to be held in.

Your Child

In most cases, the parent at home will win in the case of parental international child abduction where abuse is suspected. However, there are some things which could lessen the chances of this happening, for example if your child has extended family in the country which they have been taken to, or if they are a witness to a crime in that country. Whatever happens, maintaining your relationship with your child is crucial. If possible you should speak to them often, whether it be over the phone or by sending letters and gifts. Being taken to another country can often be a confusing experience for a child, and they need to be reassured that the parent left back home has not abandoned them. However, you should never discuss the case with your child.

There are many ways in which you can get your child back from a partner or ex partner who has taken them abroad. Don’t suffer in silence, get help as soon as you can.

MORE RESOURCES:

International Parental Kidnapping | CRIMINAL-CEOS

International Parental Child Abduction

 

Kids: Surviving An Abduction Attempt

Posted by Sandra On April - 12 - 2016 ADD COMMENTS

Teach your child how to survive an abduction

Protection expert gives tips on best way to fight, stay alive

download (1)Montgomery Texas Police Chief Jim Napolitano, a former Secret Service agent to four different presidents, is an expert in protection and security.  With his advice and the help of child and adult actors, News 6 set out to teach parents exactly, step by step, what you need to do to escape from a child abductor in four typical scenarios.

Scenario No. 1: A predator approaches a child at the playground. There are others around, but the attacker snatches the child quickly.

What do you do?

Napolitano says two things:

1. Scream as loud and fast as you can to attract attention
2. Fight, punch, kick and claw
“They have to fight,” he said. “Fight with everything they have inside of them to get away from this person that wants to do them harm.”

READ MORE HERE

How to Thwart an Abduction Attempt: 11 Steps

How to Survive an Abduction or Hostage Situation

How to Teach a Child to Escape or Prevent an Abduction

Articles: How to Survive a Kidnapping

Child Safety Tips – Kidnapping Escape

April: Child Abuse Prevention Month

Posted by Sandra On March - 27 - 2016 ADD COMMENTS

Child-Abuse-Prevention-LogoApril has been nationally recognized as Child Abuse Prevention Month since 1985. April also recognizes Sexual Abuse Awareness as well. Each year, there are nearly 3 million reports of child abuse and neglect. Child abuse cases are vastly under-reported, as adults often fail to recognize or respond to warning signs of child abuse, and abused children suffer in fear and silence afraid to report. National Child Abuse Prevention Month offers each of us an opportunity to highlight child abuse facts, be pro-active in educating the public on child abuse, explain the importance of reporting child abuse, encourage community involvement, and support abused children.

DID YOU KNOW?
*1 in every 3 girls will be sexually molested before the age of 18
*1 in every 5 boys will be sexually molested before the age of 18
*Every 10 SECONDS a child is raped or killed in the U.S.
*Today up to 5 children will die from abuse or neglect
*In 13 seconds, another child will be abused in the U.S
*There were 2.9 million child abuse reports made in 1992
*ONLY 28% of the children identified as harmed by abuse are investigated
*Boys are at a greater risk of serious injury and of emotional neglect than are girls
*85% of the 1.2 – 1.5 million runaways are fleeing abuse at home
*80% of perpetrators are biological parents
*60 % of male survivors report at least one of their perpetrators to be female
*Children in mother-only households are 4 times more likely to be fatally abused
*Female abusers are typically younger than male abusers.
*The median age was 30 years for women and 33 years for men
*Today 6 children will commit suicide
*Suicide is the 3rd leading cause of death (ages 15-24)
*Untreated child abuse increases the likelihood of arrest for a violent crime by 38 percent
*60 MILLION survivors are former victims of child sexual abuse in America today
*71 % of child sex offenders are under the age of 35
*38% of women & 20% of men have been sexually abused during adolescence
*It is estimated that 3%-6% of the clergy population has abused a child
*Natural mothers are the perpetrators of 93% of physical neglect, 86% educational neglect, 78% emotional neglect, 60% physical abuse, 55% emotional abuse
*The typical pedophile molests an average of 117 children–most of whom do not report the offense

~Imagine the outcry if these statistics represented a disease, which was wiping out 5 children per day, victimizing millions, and who’s by-products where disabilities & expanding violence. Youth rights are really about human rights, and simple empathy is a giant first step to the benefits of increased awareness. The high jump in child abuse statistics shows the importance of youth rights by showing cases of frightening lack of knowledge!!~
Go ahead….
IT’S TIME TO GET ANGRY ABOUT CHILD ABUSE IN OUR NATION!!

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Take Action

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Each of us needs to take action to help prevent child abuse and neglect! Whether you donate to organizations advocating against child abuse, participate in a fundraising event, or join forces by contacting your local office, your contribution makes a huge difference.

What can you do right now? Anything you do to support kids and parents can help reduce the isolation and stress that often leads to abuse and neglect.

How YOU Can Help:

Be a friend to a parent you know. Ask how their children are doing. Draw on your own experiences to provide reassurance and support. If a parent seems to be struggling, offer to baby-sit or run errands, or just lend a friendly ear. Show you understand.

Be a friend to a child you know. Remember their names. Smile when you talk with them. Ask them about their day at school. Send them a card in the mail. Show you care.

Talk to your neighbors about looking out for one another’s children. Encourage a supportive spirit among parents in your apartment building or on your block. Show that you are involved.

Give your used clothing, furniture and toys for use by another family. This can help relieve the stress of financial burdens that parents sometimes take out on their kids.

Volunteer your time and money for programs in your community that support children and families, such as parent support groups, child care centers, and our state chapters and local Healthy Families America sites.

Advocate for public policies, innovative programs and issues that benefit children and families.

Purchase a STOP CHILD ABUSE t-shirt (Campaign runs 3/28/2016 – 4/11/2016)    Purchase a STOP CHILD ABUSE t-shirt or hoodie for April’s National Child Abuse Prevention Month! Campaign hosted by www.holdontohope.org. 25% of all sales will be donated to our nonprofit organization. CLICK HERE TO PURCHASE

Purchase a STOP CHILD ABUSE Blue Silicone Bracelet – Show your support by wearing this stylish bracelet.

Purchase Pinwheels for Prevention –  The pinwheel is the nationally recognized symbol for child abuse and neglect prevention. It also symbolizes the belief that every child has the right to grow and flourish to his/her full potential within a nurturing environment.

**DONATE**
If you are considering making a contribution, DREAMCATCHERSFOR ABUSED CHILDREN has many programs and services that would benefit from your generosity. Your tax-deductible contribution will be designated to promote child abuse awareness, intervention & prevention, along with support services for abuse victims. Any contribution you make will help us to fulfill our mission to prevent child abuse. If you have any questions or would like more information please email us at: [email protected] — Please click here for more info!

**IN-KIND DONATIONS**
Donate an item, service or gift card/gift certificate to help aid abused children or our organization. If you would like to learn more about in-kind donations, please click here!

**DONATE A VEHICLE**
Donate your automobile, boat, motorcycle, jet ski or almost any other mode of transportation, working or not. Your donation will help benefit DREAMCATCHERS FOR ABUSED CHILDREN. If you would like to learn more about donating a vehicle, please click here!

**LEAVE A LEGACY**
“Leave a Legacy” is a campaign to help educate people from all walks of life about the possibility of making an estate gift to their charity of choice. Those of you who are able to give generously during our lifetime, and those who have been unable to make lifetime gifts, can discover ways to make major contributions through thoughtful, well planned wills and other gift techniques. Gifts may be in the form of money, property, investments or a portion of an estate. Learn more by clicking here!

**IN MEMORY–TRIBUTE MEMORIAL DONATIONS**
Commemorate a friend, family member, loved one, or an abused child by making a donation in their memory–give a lasting gift that fights back against child abuse and lives on for years to come. Learn more by clicking here!

**DFAC MERCHANDISE**
Our shirts themselves are part of our story, as DFAC has sparked countless conversations that begin with the question, “What does your shirt stand for?” We love hearing about these conversations, the ones that change lives, create friendships, and promote child abuse advocacy. You can find these T-shirts and all our other merchandise on the front page of our domain website by the shopping cart or by clicking here!

**PURCHASE “BRAVELETS” JEWELRY**
“BE BRAVE” ~ Dreamcatchers for Abused Children STOP CHILD ABUSE “Bravelets” Jewelry!! $10 from each product purchased will be donated to our organization. Check out our jewelry items by clicking here!

**DREAMCATCHERS FREE E-BOOK **
Free–Immediate Download: The Dreamcatchers for Abused Children Child Abuse Handbook is an educational self-help tutorial with information pertaining to all aspects of child abuse & neglect. It will teach you child abuse signs/symptoms, facts/ statistics, effects, intervention, reporting, prevention, and provide resources to help victims & survivors locate the help they need to obtain a full recovery. This handbook also provides state & local hotline numbers and contact agencies. Please visit this link to download your FREE e-book.

**PROMOTE–SPREAD THE WORD–EDUCATE THE PUBLIC**
One way is to try to get as many people as you can to look at our website & let your friend’s know that you are helping us promote child abuse awareness–it will help us to educate the public faster!! You will then be doing your part to help these children. Even if your friends only log on & read our site ONCE….they will remember the signs/symptoms to look for, who to contact, intervention, prevention & recovery of child abuse. JUST THINK OF HOW MANY CHILDREN’S LIVES COULD BE SAVED IF ALL INDIVIDUALS WERE TRAINED ON WHAT TO LOOK FOR!!! Education & knowledge is the key to prevention!!!!

**TALK TO YOUR LOCAL SCHOOL**
Talk to your local school and find out what programs they have implemented for child abuse awareness, sexual abuse awareness and/or anti-bullying programs. If they do not have any programs in place, ask them to consider one and help them to research how to implement one. This is VITAL for all communities and for the lives of our children!! Click here to learn more!

**DONATE YOUR TIME LOCALLY**
You could also look in your area @ your local resources to see if they need volunteers (@ the shelters, hospitals, DHS/CPS offices, schools, etc.) This would be a way for you to learn more about the statistics of child abuse & to help your community. Recently, one of our members used our website as a POWERPOINT PRESENTATION at his church. He not only received a huge, positive response from his missionary, but also had a child come forward to report molestation that had been taking place in the nursery—THE MAN WAS ARRESTED!!! All because she saw our website, was educated, and KNEW to report this crime!!!

**VOLUNTEER**
We encourage the public and other child abuse advocates to “volunteer” to help DREAMCATCHERS. We ask that you help to promote child abuse awareness & education, distribute our literature, publications and information and think of unique ideas/fundraisers to help us raise funds so that we may continue our mission successfully. We need the public to be actively involved in our child abuse advocacy—we cannot do it alone. Consider becoming a CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocate) Volunteer!! CASA volunteers are desperately needed. Learn more here!

**FUNDRAISE**
We are an official non-profit 501(c)3 organization and are funded by donations, grants & charity benefits. You could organize unique fundraisers such as car washes, bake sales, community garage sale, art contests, 50/50 raffles, etc. ALL proceeds collected are directly donated back into the organization to help to help educate the public on how to help these abused children!!! Why not involve everyone in your community? Organize a community fund raiser & donate a percentage of the funds towards a child abuse organization of your choice. Learn more about fundraising here!

**SPONSORSHIP**
You could also ask businesses in your area if they might be interested in sponsoring us either directly or by holding a fund raiser or charity event. We accept gift items, monetary donations, in-kind donations and/or goods & services. Learn more about our sponsorship packages by clicking here!

CLICK for More Ways “YOU” Can Help

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Child Maltreatment is Preventable

CDC works to stop child maltreatment, including abuse and neglect, before it initially occurs. In doing this, CDC promotes the development of safe, stable, and nurturing relationships and environments between children and their parents or caregivers. Children’s experiences are defined through their environments (such as homes, schools, and neighborhoods) and relationships with parents, teachers, and other caregivers. Healthy relationships act as a buffer against adverse childhood experiences. They are necessary to ensure the long-term physical and emotional well-being of children.

Join CDC’s Initiative to Prevent Child Maltreatment

Safe, stable, and nurturing relationships and environments are essential to prevent child maltreatment and to assure children reach their full potential. The Essentials for Childhood initiative has a technical package that proposes evidence-based strategies communities can consider to promote relationships and environments that help children grow up to be healthy and productive citizens.

The Essentials for Childhood downloadable package is intended for communities committed to the positive development of children and families, and specifically to prevent child abuse and neglect. While child maltreatment is a significant public health problem, it is also a preventable one. The steps suggested in the Essentials for Childhood package—along with your commitment to preventing child maltreatment—can help create neighborhoods, communities, and a world in which every child can thrive.

Downloadable Materials

Web-based Resources

Online Training

Building Community, Building Hopeis a video series showing real-world, collaborative solutions to the problem of child abuse and neglect.

PDF Download (PDF – 2,027 KB)

OSHS’s Safe and Supportive Schools TA Center  provides resources and support to help schools and communities develop rigorous measurement systems that assess school climate and implement and evaluate programmatic interventions. We welcome you to explore and discover, ask questions, and share your perspectives.

The Department of Justice Office for Victims of Crime outlines strategies for how to respond if a child tells you that he or she has been abused.

Click Here  for information about child maltreatment and ways to prevent it in your home, school and neighborhood. The packet is compiled by our Families Are Magic Coordinator with the latest and most effective information and activities to empower community members to fight child abuse and neglect.

Presidential Proclamation — National Child Abuse

Child Abuse Prevention Month – CASA for Children

Prevent Child Abuse America

April is National Child Abuse Prevention Month – Childhelp

National Child Abuse Prevention Month: 2016

 

Child Welfare Information Gateway

The 2016 Prevention Resource Guide

2016 Child Abuse Prevention Month

National Child Abuse Prevention Month

2016 Child Abuse Prevention Month Awareness Actitivites

 

 

 


Download  (PDF – 4,577 KB)

Spanish Resources

What Child Abuse Survivors Want The Public To Know

Posted by Sandra On March - 14 - 2016 ADD COMMENTS

capture-20160314-160209Dreamcatchers for Abused Children posted a question on our Facebook page directed to all survivors of child abuse. We asked, “If there was one thing that you would like the public to know about child abuse and/or how it has affected your life, what would it be?” We were shocked at the amount of heartbreaking, emotional replies we received. We have decided to share these replies as we feel it is imperative for the public to know – especially the abusers themselves to see just how much they have directly affected their victims. Many survivors’ lives are characterized by frequent crises e.g. job disappointments, relocation’s, failed relationships, financial setbacks. Many are the result of unresolved childhood abuse issues. The reasons are complex, but for many survivors ongoing internal chaos prevents the establishment of regularity, predictability and consistency. Many survivors function in ‘crisis mode’, responding with stopgap measures which don’t resolve the underlying issues. This can be exhausting and dispiriting and contribute to feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. The impact of child abuse does not end when the abuse stops and the long-term effects can interfere with day-to-day functioning. However, it is possible to live a full and constructive life, and even thrive – to enjoy a feeling of wholeness, satisfaction in your life and work as well as genuine love and trust in your relationships. Understanding the relationship between your prior abuse and current behavior is the first step towards ‘recovery’.

Research has demonstrated potential negative impact of child abuse and neglect on mental health:
depression
anxiety disorders
poor self-esteem
aggressive behavior
suicide attempts
eating disorders
use of illicit drugs
alcohol abuse
post-traumatic stress
dissociation
sexual difficulties
self-harming behaviors
personality disorders
More likely to commit crimes as juveniles and adults
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REPLIES WE RECEIVED:

(We will continue to add replies as we receive them)

Holly – Listen to your children. If they say something look into it. If they are acting out find out why. Talk to them about sexual abuse, it will make it not so taboo and they will be more prone and less scared to tell if something happens.

Erika – A couple phrases you don’t want to say to a survivor… “Just get over it.” “It’s in the past, forget it and move on.” Because trust us…. You can’t just get over it or move on. Childhood abuse lives with you the rest of your life. It affects everything you do and every relationship you have. Think before you respond to someone who’s been abused. And don’t even bother to try and imagine yourself in a survivors shoes…. cause you can never do it.

Barbara – It stays w you, and sometimes you relive it. May God protect all those little ones , that they are not alone.

Michelle – The abuse lives on in your thoughts but releasing them and telling people is the way forward to start the healing process.

Nichole – Emotional and verbal abuse can still hurt a child. Even though you see and hear it there is nothing as an aunt or a person can say or do. even if that child acts out in school and is yet at the age of 8 cant tell the difference between mad and upset or any other emotion because he is always told to be quite and go sit in the corner. As an aunty it breaks my heart to have my nephew cry in my arms every weekend saying he wants to live with me. I hate that we will lose the battle for custody because it is not “physical abuse.”

Karren – Because of being molested not long after I started my period at age 10, later in life I didn’t realize I was being taken advantage of at 15. I was basically raped and never knew because I loved the person so I thought it was okay even though I didn’t want to have sex. Teach your kids early that people, even family will hurt them at times and unless you’re okay and comfortable with being touched sexually it’s abuse and it’s wrong. Because of the physical abuse, I have lots of mental disorders. I think everyone is out to hurt me or will leave me.

Michael – If you see it in any way and do nothing saying to yourself that its none of your buisness or whatever…your just as guilty as the person comitting the abuse. Growing up, i cant even tell you how many people saw the signs or actually knew what was happening (i told multiple adults what was happening over the years) and they never even tried to help in any way…as a child who was being abused, it felt like no one cared at all. People need to understand that.

Brand – My childhood abuse has cost me a relationship with 3 of my siblings, since my abuser was their father, they are unable to accept it. This is sad and can leave a victim feeling revictimized. Its truly sad.

Eva – I’ve been abused my whole life…by my parents. Even know I have so many problems due to my abuse. People tend to believe that parents are always good but it is not true. Or they say often “get over it’ when they have no idea about what it’s like to live everyday with the fear or the pain. They need education in order to realize the signs of abuse and the ways to prevent it.

Donna – Child abuse destroyed my spirit. I’m 52 years old, and it still affects me.

Charlie – I am a survivor off child sexual abuse I was abused from ages of 4 – 10. It was a uncle from his point of view he weren’t doin anything wrong as he didn’t have full intercourse till I was almost 8yrs old, but abused me in one off the most degrading ways prior to this by age of 8 I was supposed to know how to entertain properly. I was told I killed my own father as he became ill & sadly passed away too but as I didn’t want to play abusers sick games thats what I was told. For many years I thought abuser had died over 30 yrs ago but only.died with in last 3 yrs. I’m now 45 yrs old in counselling too it does get easier but still have flashbacks as recent as only last week but I’m now a mother a nanny but most off all not a victim but a survivor but without support from groups like this one. I would still be in a dark place but with support from family & friends too I am now a standing warrior who can fight this till I feel I can close it down for good out off my heart & mind. CTH

Karen – The physical and psychological abuse and neglect have made me unable to feel “real” love or emotional attachments. I don’t trust anyone or anything. I despise myself and have never felt worthy of anything. I give everyone else what I desperately need. That is encouragement, compassion, and understanding. I will be 50 years old this year and I have never once looked at myself and felt compassion for the woman that I see in the mirror. The depression and anxiety never go away. I always have a smile and a kind word for others. But behind the mask, I’m suffocating……

Tina – Terminal loneliness. .no matter how accomplished I became nor how many nm people I knew. . Always very empty. I’m 63 And foster homes were no picnic either. I’ve been in many. .Receiving home every other year. Back home to my adopted mom. Just to go threw it again. Over and over. I was famous cause I was sold at birth. Once case was over moved, abuse of every kind happened. I have had it good and bad and am grateful today. LIFE NOW IS GOOD. Thanks to GOD and my Daughter
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Ruth – Reiterating what most people are saying we as parents have to EDUCATE our CHILDREN so they do not become a victim. I would hate to be the person who ever tries to hurt any of my nieces because they aren’t going to see the light of day ever again.

Dorothy – It changed my life forever. I would like to think it doesn’t define me but it definitely changed me. It made me grow up to feel alone, like I couldn’t trust anyone. To this day I am terrified of the dark. If someone touches me in any way, I freeze. If someone touches me inappropriately I regress back to the helpless little girl and become unable to do protect myself. It stole my innocence at the age of 7 never to be recovered. I still have nightmares about someone touching me while I am sleeping. It stole my peace of mind. I’m exhausted of being a survivor. I would like to not have had this nightmare to survive.

Kriss – Just because one survives child abuse does not mean that we don’t need help, support and understanding as adults.

Betty – I was molested for 9 years. From age 3 to 12. I was raped at 13 by my much older boyfriend. Those were one of the most painful experiences of my life, but I don’t let it stop me from living my life. I don’t want the bad in my life to define who I am. Life is precious. I believe the beauty in this world outweighs the ugly. I like to believe surviving the horror of abuse has made me more passionate and has me loving life more. I was built to survive and I will never let anyone take that away from me.

Ann – Educate your kids early about child molesters. My daughter was 4 and it took 7 years for her to realize it was bad what happened to her. These sickos are everywhere and children must be protected. It was a close family member that hurt us. And the DA is inept and will not pursue charges. My family will never heal it feels like. I am so very sad and feel helpless that I could not protect my daughter.

Lisa – It consumes you if you don’t face it.

Corey – Child abuse exists in secrecy, if we remove the secrecy it makes it that much harder for someone to abuse. I was abused, all forms, from age 2 (my earliest memories) until I left home a month before my 15th birthday. I had teachers who suspected abuse, but they all turned the other way, leaving me to continue to survive not live. When I did begin to disclose my abuse when I was in foster care, I was not supported or believed. This had a devastating affect on me. I learned that no one was safe to talk to, to disclose my experiences to, or trust. It is vital to believe and support children and youth when they disclose abuse. If you don’t, you’re risking a wide range of problems for these vulnerable people to face as they enter and live through adulthood. When a child discloses, give them a chance to live, not force them to continue surviving because you chose not to believe them. I am now 31 and have spent the past three years in and out of a psychiatric hospital because I could no longer cope with the realities of my abuse or the lack of support I’ve received in my life. I have developed a severe mental illness and part of the symptoms of my mental illness is chronic self harm and suicide idealizations and attempts, all formed from the chronic abuse, neglect and lack of support I received. Abuse has devastating impacts on people who’ve experienced it, but with early intervention and support, these vulnerable people can have a chance at a life worth living.

Judy – You never understand why the adults who are suppose to protect you didn’t and covered it up.

Aubrey – Emotional abuse is the worst because there are no outward signs and if the person is up in the community many people don’t listen without screaming. Learn to stop the cycle.

Amber Lynn – I think about my trauma everyday. I re-live the frightening memories, I see his face and even can smell his Cologne, even though it’s been 24 years. I’m constantly reminded of him, for he is my brother’s father (I do not place any blame or burden on my brother.) Sometimes I regret that I didn’t kill my abuser when I was 11, I wrote a note to my dad instead, telling him what was happening to me and my sister. I did tell my mom a year before that, and she called me a liar. There’s still so much pain. I meditate everyday, I go to therapy, and I imagine myself as a survivor, not a victim.

Madhusree – That people don’t ask for it. Sexual abuse exists because the predator exists. They should learn to put 100 % blame on the perpetrator. Also, just because I’m dating you, and have opened up to you about my trauma, doesn’t mean you use it to shame me and shut me up each time. I’m as worthy of love and respect as any other person on the planet.

Tre – It perverts my perception of everything in my life, nothing is good, I try too hard to be accepted by men and women, it’s a nightmare!!!!!!!

Raiderette – In so many ways, your childhood is taken away in that instant. Is an ugly feeling that never stops haunting you. If your going through that please tell somebody, there is still people that care.

Rita – That the biggest danger is sometimes right under your own roof. When a family member betrays trust it devastates everything your foundation was built on, but no matter who the offender is, when you learn of the abuse it must be reported!

Christalyn – You want to protect everything in and out of your control. You feel so deeply that in many cases you can’t function or be a part of movies, events, or experiences because you know it will hit triggers where you respond inappropriately either angry and or emotional.

Emily – You never forget n ur scared to live ur life at times!

Jackie – That you can never trust again and always feel insecure.

Mara – I never forgot being called, “A fucking whore with a filthy puss” by my so-called “mother” when I reported the abuse to the police. The cops did not believe me either. That is where I have my counter-dependency from. I want the public to know that words will stay in your memory for a lifetime.

Lisa – I was abused when I was 9 years old.Then groomed when I was 13, then raped by 2 different men when I was 16. I have had depression since I was 9, I started to self harm at 16 and still do it to this day, the last time I self harmed was 30-1-16. I’m 57 now and I live with what happened to me every day. I went to see the nurse the other day, and she let me talk to her about things. She said I should ask the Dr if I can be referred to go and see a psychologist, as she thinks it will help me. I don’t trust anybody, I have BPD, I take 2 different kinds of anti -depression tablets and sleeping tablets, my life has been hell. I just can’t get over what happened to me. Maybe one day I might be able to move on.

Theresa – It’s back to bite me in the behind forty-years later.

Keri – I was physically, sexually, and emotionally abused from the time I was 3 until 15 yrs old. Let me start with I am almost 40, and it has effected me every day since. My brain does not function correctly I suffer from extreme PTSD, depression, anxiety, extreme anger, it led to massive drug use, (now been clean and sober for 6 years) there is sooo much more but for me it’s only getting worse. I feel like I can’t get passed this if anyone has any suggestions I would love to hear …because for me I’m reliving this a use over and over and over. I have constantly been told to “get over it” or I have to forgive those who wronged me. When a child is abused their brains do not grow right. All the things a child is supposed to enjoy was robbed from me. I may forgive those who wronged me, but how do you function properly?

Peggy – It often takes a lifetime to heal, affects on all levels of your being, emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually. You have to fight tooth and nail…I am a survivor of sexual abuse suffered as a child.

Cheryllynn – For me it means…Severe PTSD, Flashbacks, Night sweats, Severe Panic and Anxiety, Lack of Trust, Forever scarred.

Angela – It’s not your fault.

Lisa – That doubting a Survivor’s truth, will help them spend their entire lives doubting themselves & can blur the lines between reality & paranoia for a lifetime…

Brittany Marie – I was never abused but I can only imagine what everyone of you went through , I’m so deeply sorry! I wish we could just put every child molester in a jail and just throw away the key. They don’t deserve to walk the streets again for what they did to poor innocent children! Sickens me so much that people could harm children , it makes it even worse when it’s the parent that’s molesting there own kid . Child molesters will never change . They will always be twisted in the head , we just need to get rid of them. But agian I’m so sorry that everyone of you had to go through that as a kid.

Dianne – The trauma of my assult has never left me!!!…not for one day!!!…I am a survivor!!!… I now have learned to love myself!!!…{{{HUGS}}} to all the SURVIVORS.

Donna – It should be my choice to speak about my abuse, its not up to others to speak for me. I spent years holding my voice back. Now I have it, and I am no longer afraid its my choice of who I tell and how much I say about it. Its no ones story but my own, so at least give me the victim a choice of what and who can know about whats happened to me. Asking permission to speak about my past is the least someone can do.

Theresa – Abusers are often former victims.

Rindi – Alot of people think only adults can be abusive. I was abused at 10-12 years old by my cousin, who was around my age. Though I have come to accept that something awful happened to him, there are things he did which were experiments on his own end, not taught. That messed me up alot to think of a “child” basically capable of such things. I felt like I should have known better, done more. Today I still put unrealistic expectations on myself. And victim blaming hits me harder because of how critical I am on myself especially at that sensative period in my life. Now as a mom something like this happening to my son is one of my greatest fears.

Muneca – Bruises will fade eventually, but verbal abuse will always be embedded into your brain for LIFE.

Darlene – Child abuse devastated self confidence, my ability to concentrate, gave me permanent ptsd. It created bipolar disorder. I’ve been in therapy since the 1990s. Nothing works completely –not even the new therapy emdr. Medication helps but pain is daily. If I didn’t have my creative talents or the fortune to express them, I would’ve killed myself long ago. Thank God for those outside of blood relatives who cared about me and stuck by me.

Rachel – That it does not just “go away” we cannot just “get over it” and tht even when it has been many years since it happened there will always be scars and we will still occasionally have bad or a sad day.

Autumn -You will always have distrust, even after their dead. You can’t just get over it. The more more you talk about it, the more you heal. You will fight yourself everyday, even if your having a good day when it’s over. It’s NOT your fault. You will have to fight for charges. You might lose in court, but you will feel better. If you have the chance to egg your step-dad child molester car and the windows are down and doors are unlocked. Cracked the eggs a little, place under the seats, so they rot and the smell seeps in. Then egg the outside. Wish I would have done that instead of just egging the inside.

Brandy – We are not broken. We are stronger than ever.

Sonya – It does not matter how old you are, you will always remember what happened. If your child has been a victim of it, seek them professional help because this isn’t something you pretend never happened and it won’t make it go away. It will lead to much more issues with them later on in life that could have had a handle on it if someone taught them a better copeing mechanism and didn’t treat them as if “if we don’t talk about it, it didn’t happen.” denial will be present, so won’t regret and hatred, but don’t smother a victim cuz they will just clam up.

Kimmy – I didn’t realize what had happened to me and I didn’t deal with it or tell my parents till I was 19 and in Youth With A Mission where I first disclosed to anyone what had happened ….then I struggled with porn addiction until about a year ago when through Celebrate Recovery I turned it over to my Lord and Savior and I have no desire to even look at porn or read erotica stories anymore…. it caused me to be self loathing and think sex was love and destroyed my innocence. …my earliest memory is about age 6 or 7 and lasted till about age 11….my own biological brother ….to this day we do not talk much and rarely ever see each other and when we do its never alone! We both have families but our children do not know each other nor do my kids know their uncle.

Justine- It’s a battle every single day. The nightmares, the flashbacks, the change, and the hurt and I’m afraid that will never go away completely. It’s a life sentence but when you have God on your side he gives you the strength to keep pushing through and the power to forgive that person in order to find peace and to be able to move forward in life. Unfortunately we can never forget what happened to us but we can use it to educate others to speak out against any kind of abuse. My abuse started at age 13 by the one person who was suppose to protect me and make sure nothing ever like that happened to me. It was extremely hard considering I was always a “daddy’s girl” that was the worst kind of betrayal and I was terrified to speak up so it went on for a while. I finally spoke up and yes it was extremely difficult to do and going through the trial and all that was so hard but God held my hand. I honestly would’ve never pulled through without him. Here I am now 23 years old with 2 kids of my own and a wonderful husband who knows my story but loves me anyway. This life isn’t perfect but I am truly happy now. There is always light at the end of every dark period. Keep fighting! You’re journey isn’t over yet.

Juanita – I was physical and mentally abused by my adoptive mother. The scars heal but the mental damage remains through life. You self esteem, your worth and value as a person take years to recapture. You have to fight inside not to be that way yourself with your own kids. There will always be triggers through out life that will send you back to those day and cause you want to protect yourself. Your inner child is forever damage and needs love and nurturing to be whole again. Trust and the ability to love is always effect. We are all survivors and can know that we will continue to survivor and fight another day. God Bless to all of you.

Rhonda – The emotional scars will remain forever. The physical abuse I can get over as long as no one else hits me. I made sure that once I became a mother that I would tell my daughters everyday that I love them, that they are worthy and I am proud of them. I don’t believe in the statistic that abused children become abusers themselves. I did a 360 on that theory. My children are grown now and we are very close. They are beautiful. I will forever be the first person to report or stop any child abuse that I know about for I won’t let it happen to any other innocent child!!

Mary – That It Stays With You Forever! I Was Diagnosed With Severe Disabilities Due To The Abuse Both Physically And Mentally!

Dolores – To this day I can still hear the words, You will never amount to anything. You will be a dog just like your mother. Those words will never go away, especially when I fail at something. So don’t say anything mean or disrespectful to your children. That was the verbal abuse. I have yet to mention the other abuses I have gone through. In time I will.

Daphne – I agree it never truly goes away. Some it kills from the inside out… Some it makes very untrusting and at times it just makes you stay away from people.

Lindsey – That it can completely transform a child. I’ve watched an excelling student who was the top of their class for 3 years drop down to average within 6 months. Their joy stolen, their drive for life robbed from them, their childhood shattered. The child has to worry and dwell on thoughts no child should ever have to. They don’t feel normal, they lose their trust in people. They lose who they are.

Al – For the survivor, it’s a life sentence. For the perpetrator, it’s just another bump in the road, to be left behind, forgotten and minimized.

Nikki – It is a sentence for life always, with u not fixable.

Mary – Child w/drunk parents…..

Stephanie – Teach hem about body boundaries and that it’s okay to have them.

Emma – I wasn’t abused BUT MY BEST friend was. Her dad sexually abused & made her a slave to him until she got her 1st period then it all stopped. Dunno why but he kept yelling the Devil has you now. I was so young and the year of the 60’s and 70’s. I all knew was to confort her and be the BEST friend I could be. Her older brother found out but still scared to do anything SO soon as he turned 18 he saved her an they fled. They reported the father and he was found guilty and 25 year’s in prison for other thing’s they found he was doing. He’s not even aloud around her kid’s much less anyone else’s for LIFE. CRAZY man.

Angela – I am mentally unstable and one of my son’s are also. It is a lifelong changer.

Amanda – I’m 32 years old, this happened when I was 6 and I’m still in intense therapy and on serious medication to deal with PTSD trauma that affects me sometimes hourly. Nightmares are so real, you can feel the man breathing.

Cheryl – Trust is earned, not deserved.

Lisa – It happens more than anyone thinks it knows and when your child tells you listen kids don’t be afraid to tell I was and it has affected my relations ships. I am 54 years old and I still have nightmares and counseling.

Becky – Mine is so long, and, reads like a movie. My father started molesting me when I was 3 or 4, this went on until 14…he was a drunk, my mother is a sociopath….I am 58…I confronted my mother about it 4 years ago, and, her words were “What did you want me to do? Get over it” She knew about it….so now, I am the “black sheep” have no family, or even speak to my mother. She won’t speak to me because I ruined her life by speaking out…I struggle with this everyday, every mothers day, every holiday…I won’t, however, sucumb and lower myself to speak to her…..I gave it all to God….I can’t handle this without Him…..I will never get closure from her… Thanks for listening.

Lisa – Scared. In 1994 I lost my little girl to cancer when she was 8. I had heard through family members that my dad who abused us kids was gonna die of cancer. My first thought was no!!! I begged GOD not to let him in heaven… I refused to let him touch my daughter…. I need to protect her.

January – It effects every aspect of your life. It never goes away you just learn to better cope, an if you’re fortunate enough to forgive you are doing the best you can.

Rachel – That it does not just “go away” we cannot just “get over it” and that even when it has been many years since it happened there will always be scars and we will still occasionally have bad or a sad day.

Judy – You never understand why the adults who are suppose to protect you didn’t and covered it up.

Michelle – It will never leave you, you cannot get over it. Go to a counselor it might lessen the mental state. In the courtroom be prepared to be called a liar by the persons defense.

Amy – It doesn’t just go away and we can’t just get over it. the healing is only outward deep, there comes a time where one may never know we have “problems” but our souls are forever scarred. There will always be times where we remember vividly because of a stimulus or trigger- if you know me, just love me, if you don’t, don’t judge my present mental status. PTSD is REAL. And there are so many more “sub-diagnosis’s that go with it. NEVER ignore a suspicion of child abuse. My story (long story short) here at the end, I’m doing great. Married, 3 kids, stay at home mom/ student..I’m blessed to say I am victorious. I have my moments but I am not to blame, I am not dirty, I am not a victim, I am a victor!

Becky – I’ve never been abused. But I see it everywhere, everyday. We have no law to help children. I’m sick over this. I see the statistics, I look around at children and know quite possibly it is happening. These monsters that have taken from each of you in my mind is a murderer. They’ve killed the person in you that you were. They’re thieves that stole from you. They’re monsters. I’m fearful and don’t trust just hearing these stories daily. I pray about this sort of thing, but I don’t pray to make those monsters better I pray that the Lord sends them straight to hell and that real justice could be found here on earth.. There is no law harsh enough for these criminals and it’s the worst criminal there is. You are all so brave and strong.. I’ll pray for peace in your heart and mind.

Rustyann – The trauma of abuse stays with you. you never get over it you learn to survive and cope with everything… i still effects me to this day. i can not go to sleep at night without nightmares/flashbacks so i try to sleep a few hours in the day, and still have problems trusting people.

Julie – If you plead the blood of Jesus over your mind when you lay down to go to sleep and you pray for protection he will do it.

Lisa – I’ve been told to grow up, by some of my own family members because I suffer from PTSD. I can’t trust anyone, especially with my kids. Also, just because you have “dealt” with what happened to you doesn’t mean that I have “dealt” with what happened to me.

Julie – That no matter what you may have gone through, what you suffered from, you can still have a good life, you don’t have to succumb to the atrocities forced upon you against your will. You were a victim, but you can rise above and you can be freed and healed, but it’s a choice, albeit a tough one. You are precious!

Robin – It last all your life it just doesn’t quite reminding you.but strength of the mind is strong.

Rhonda – That it really happens in the “best of circumstances” and children only have you to protect them, to believe them, to see them, child abuse and survival isnt healing.. healing is one day , one month, one year, one decade, one century at a time.

Ann – Educate your kids early about child molesters. My daughter was 4 and it took 7 years for her to realize it was bad what happened to her. These sickos are everywhere and children must be protected. It was a close family member that hurt us. And the DA is inept and will not pursue charges. My family will never heal it feels like. I am so very sad and feel helpless that I could not protect my daughter.

Beverly – THAT IT CHANGES WHO YOU ARE! HOW YOU FUNCTION, BELIEVE AND LIVE! IT NEVER GOES AWAY…NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU TRY!!! (and it is usually the someone that no one would ever believe would do that and the attack is usually on the victim…the perv just keeps on and gets away with it more than not!!!)

Paula – It robs you.

Sandra – That’s someone else can’t “cure” it if they just “love you enough.”

Bobbie – Don’t ever leave your kids alone w uncles.

Jon – While we survived and most days appear to THRIVE, there will always be “echoes”. Things that automatically make us feel connected to the trauma. Whether its the man who leans into my personal space a little too much during conversation and sets off the firing of every nerve or the way I’ll forever eye everyone coming in contact with my own children with jaded suspicion…. It will always be as much a part of me as the color of my eyes or the very good memories of my childhood.

Annemaree – The hardest part is living each day with no apology.

Debbie – Don’t trust anyone!

Shirley – Be extra careful who u leave your kids with, and please, please any inclination u have, remove your child straight away from the situation, also be very careful when doing so because no doubt they will physically abuse, but be very careful also who u ask for help , sometimes even people in authority will give these creeps a licence to do what they want and things can turn very nasty. I wish I could tell u my story but really it would take too long, but please just be so careful who u have around your kids an who u have staying in your home because these things can happen to your kids, when your sleeping. I can’t even leave my granddaughter in a room with any man and its not because I think all men are the same, because there are men who woudn’t do such things, but the thing is we don’t know who these people are. They dont walk around with a label on their head. They could be any one we know – it could be brother, a father, an aunt, uncle, family friend and so on. It is so sad to have to feel this way, but prevention is so much better than cure.

Trudy – Make children more aware of “Stranger Danger.”

Vera – Children need be educated at young age today about every form off abuse as children think that there is only one form of abuse and that’s PHYSICAL.

Victoria – That no matter what , no matter how much you still think about it , how much you still feel the hurt the anger and the sadness don’t let it ruin the rest of your life! It took me 35 years to realize that i was self destructing , self loathing ruining not only my life but hurting others as well making myself and them pay for what awful things one person had done. You are stronger than all of it. Be an educator be the voice that we wish someone could’ve been for us! make others know they are not alone. And hold your children a little closer a little longer each time you hug them and give thanks you know you are protecting them from becoming one of us.

Dee – Not all sexual abuse hurts physically. I had a very hard time with shame for many years because my abuser didn’t hurt me and I felt pleasure from it so I felt it was my fault!

Vera – Just few words ….It never goes away u will constant revisit the childhood trauma …from a lady who was physically ..mentally….emotionally…. verbally and sexually abused …love to all out there.

Amber – That even though they think it doesn’t effect them, it does. It has many terrible effects on society in general.

Eletha – The devastation u feel when u reach adulthood,that everything u have bin taught to do as a child was wrong.like sexual pleasing adults was an ordinary thing..or not being able to sleep at night because going to bed was not about bed time stories & being tucked in,it was crying yourself to sleep, feeling terrified waiting to be strapped..& that’s just the tip of the iceberg.

Natalie – it never goes away….even as you go on with your life, its always there lurking in the shadows.

Shannon – The best post. Advocate for yourself and survivors. Let them know they are never alone. Wake up every day knowing it’s a new one. No matter how dark it is, I promise you if you stay with it the light comes.

Tracy – How it can ruin your life forever! I still have nightmares and bad anxiety. Hate going out in public and even though I want a boyfriend I don’t like the attention I get from men, I almost feel ashamed and filthy, like I’m back in that horrible moment; and it’s been 15-years.

Nick – That the one my step dad despised (me) went on to eclipse his other 2 biological children. Let their cruelty propel you when you are not the precious child, but just the lowly handmaid. “When everything under the sun is in tune, but the sun is eclipsed by the moon.” Choke on that, you dead, rotting SOB.

Stacy – I think when a parent who is a convicted felon for robbery several times and never helps with child support and has a drug addiction and drinking problem ,but yet the courts let that parent be involved in that child’s life is very damaging.Especially when that parent just wants visitation to upset and be in the mothers life,and has NO interest in the child.

Elizajane – Never assume it will never happen to your children.

Hannah – There needs to be more help afterwards for these poor children whom suffer at the hands of these sick sick animals ….. there is nothing available in some areas of England ….. the suggestions from the social services for years was to put my child in care absolutely disgusting I know ….. but I was a strong mum and I coped the best I could 12 years later still trying to cope with a son whom has chronic ptsd diagnosed by a private professional whom the court paid for ….. with the hope off private treatment soon our whole lives have been affected with no help.

Connie – Don’t follow your abusers path break the cycle…. I could never put my children through what my alcoholic father put us through. Im 45 and struggle with my childhood daily. But have learned to deal with it and I’m an adult and he can’t hurt me anymore and he will answer one day to a higher power.

Jane – I am a survivor. Sad to say it will never go away. I always have flashbacks. But I know I have to live with this. I have been sexually, emotionally and physically abused. And blamed myself. Believe it or not by my grandfather.

Morgan – It just doesn’t go away and it doesn’t get easier. In fact the opposite. Milestones in life have you more angry because it’s so very exhausting to survive. Oh and therapy I’ve had lots. If it was as simple as eye movements and hypnosis to remove the pain of the memories do you not think I haven’t tried it????

Amanda – I learned how to be a good mother & protector. I thank God I’m able to stay home with my kids because I don’t trust many people with them. I don’t keep them in a bubble but I teach them well about the dangers in this world. No sugar coating. I’ve prepared them for every imaginable situation & I’m confident they’ll know the signs of anything suspicious. I was also abused as an adult & was strong enough to get out of that after having a son. No way I was raising a kid in that hell. Now I’m married to a wonderful man & my kids are very loved & supported.

Bethany – It sticks with you and sometimes even with a partner you want to be with you still get that urge to run away from even the most innocent of gestures that most people would see as affection. That triggers do happen to go slow to be honest I’m surprised i made a baby with my partner because how love an abuse get mixed up emotionally when you know its love but your instinct is to fight because in the past its been abuse but you were too little to put up a fight then.

Nundi – I can’t trust ANYONE around my son. I have a hard time leaving him in school or just anyone. I know that the people you trust will hurt you and others will look the other way. Anxiety is always level 10. And there will always be flashbacks from years of abuse and fowl memories.. I’ve been suicidal and will always have to take meds. But I made it and you can make it too.

Dianne – The trauma of my assault has never left me!!!…not for one day!!!…I am a survivor!!!… I now have learned to love myself!!!…{{{HUGS}}} to all the SURVIVORS…

Julia – I am still here to tell my stories.

Carmine – Emotional Abuse is not something you can just “get over”. The screaming, the threats, and the insults echo in your head. The feeling of abandonment and hatred stirs in your heart and everyone thinks its no big deal as long as it wasn’t physical or sexual abuse.

Renee – Takes the innocence away and that can never be brought back.

Tonia – I have psyche meds i take all the time. If i miss one day i become someone no one wants to be around and i hate it. I’m so violent. I don’t like anyone by my children family or not. Family and non family assaulted me. Started when i was three then getting taken away at six years old and put into foster care and shit just got even worse.

Tonia – Made me lose my mind! Literally.

Leslie – Don’t expect me to act and react the way “the rest of the world does”.

Veronica – Do not judge jump to conclusions ask obvious questions make a surviving child feel comfortable and safe same goes for adult survivors.

T.K. – Blocking it out till later only makes it worse. Feel it when you should or it will get worse!

Myses – It’s very difficult to have any type of relationship now-a-days. Not even really sure who I really am. It sucks!

Magie – It never goes away, and when it comes to social services they have a awful habit of bringing it up all the time, i was the victim my dad was the abuser, and they keep saying they feel sorry for you, i don’t want anybody to feel sorry for me.

Lynette – We can never trust again no matter how much we want to .forever lonely .

Davina – It’s affected and ruined my whole entire life I always wonder how much different my life would have turned out if I ever would of had a descent childhood. Than I think of how much I love my children more than life its self!!! I could NEVER ever put them through what I went through and how can any parent harm their child I will never understand it. No child deserves this!!!

Viviane – That decades later it still hurts.

Anne – You can lock it away in boxes in your heart but occasionally the lock fails or you open the wrong box when remembering good times.

Judy – The pain never goes away.

Sezzy – Don’t bottle it up.

Rick – Not trusting anyone and don’t if I ever could.

Lisa – Do not get down on yourself… Don’t say things like, “I’m older now, I should be over this already!” It does not ever completely go away. The good news is that you do not have to be a prisoner of their cruelty anymore. You are safe. Be gentle with yourself, say the things you needed to hear as a child to yourself in front of a mirror. Say daily affirmations. Hug yourself, often! Give yourself a break… Understand that none of what you went through was your fault. And even though, no… It was not fair, try as hard as you can not to remain stuck in that thought process. (Some days will be easier than others, and that is okay!) Most of all… Do not let your abusers make your life hell now by dwelling on the abuse or hating on yourself. Love, Love, Love yourself! Because you deserve it. You are lovable and amazing simply because you exist! God Bless!

Terri – To warn children that predators aren’t just adults they can be the same age as them and the same sex. I wish people would understand a child can suffer from PTSD and although they may seem like nothing is wrong unless you spend everyday and night with them you’ll never see how they suffer.

Chana – You never forget or “get over it”. You learn coping techniques and develop the mental spiritual strength that allows to climb out of the dark ugly pit of dark painful memories. Only then can you begin the process of forgiveness, however , you can never wipe the brain or soul of the stain.

Sherry – It effects every aspect of my life, personally I trust no one other than my children, I have abandonment issues, body issues, anger issues. I have no self confidence, I suffer flashbacks that effect me daily. I have a hard time sleeping, I suffer from Fibromyalgia. It is a BIG deal. Just because you have grown into an adult you never stop being that child. It last a lifetime and no you can’t just get over it.

Shannon – Not talking about it doesn’t make it go away. Just because you’re uncomfortable doesn’t mean ANYTHING. How do you think WE felt, or worse, still feel? We live with the horror, the memories and the pain on a daily basis.

Satonia – Child abuse and neglect will color everything I do. It touched everything I did as a child so it makes sense it touches everything I do now. I know many of you get irritated when I flinch when you jokingly move quickly at me. I’m sorry. It’s nothing I can control. A reflex. My emotions change the way they do because that’s how I was raised. We are taught by seeing, mimicking the adults in my life. Even if you don’t see it I am trying to teach myself different. I am rewriting the world I grew up in. Some days I am like a child, exploring this amazing world for the first time, sometimes I’m that scared 6 year old again. Stick around because if you do, you will find if I know you won’t run when things get tough, I am one of the most loyal people out there.

Brittany – You’ll remember it for forever. But it has definitely made me a better parent to my children because I took the abuse and learned from my parents wrong doing.

Tiffany – I find out that my daughter’s father had molested my son when he was little and since he is in cps custody as of right now my case worker tells me that I can not now what is going on regarding my children…..in my option coos county cps office is the one who is abusing children let Alone this morning my 9 year old son ran away from his grandparents fostering him he is tired being mistreated verbally and emotionally and spiritually he’s Catholic he is told that he cannot even read the Bible because they do not believe in Christ frown emoticon tell me what would you call that?

Sandra – There is no quick fix.We as survivors, are entitled to move on, get over it and forgive when we are ready, and no one should tell us differently.

Nyssa – my friends hate it because when I trigger I isolate myself, I don’t want to to be around anyone or go anywhere, I just want to be to myself.

Jerry – That ones false sense of pride and shame compelling one to pretend it didn’t happen to their child, only to passive aggressively use it at will to further harm said child, only serve to ruin the child’s life, every opportunity, relationship and career the child will have, causing them to hate you, and justly so, as the people who suppress the truth are as guilty as the ones who carried out the abuse.

Judy – The judicial system is not dealing appropriately with pedophiles! They need to have mandatory life sentences, instead of 2 or 3 years in prison, then back out to abuse again!

Cheryl – I sought the Lord, yes to heal the horror and terror of the abuse, Praise His Holy Name.

Heather – We deserve justice! And it never goes away the feelings thoughts emotions it feels like it was just yesterday.

Tracy – I can never be normal and I can never forget.

Grant – It is a life sentence for me and others.

Jeannie – That we don’t get over it!!

Cindy – I was physically abused, emotional abuse and sexually abuse. My teen years up into my 20’s were the worst years oh my life. Now I’ll fight for our children so they don’t have to live that life.

Susan -You need to go for therapy the rest of your life!!

Janine – It fucked everything up.

Becki – Abuse by a family member in childhood doesn’t stop. The abuse escalates, although not overt sexual abuse.

Shawna – That even though I won’t ever forget, it doesn’t mean it will rule my life either. It’s important to have coping skills to get through the tough moments and to have a few people close by for positive support. The good Lord has blessed me with a fighting spirit and has helped me to forgive and move on.

Mona – My mom also as a child came from a lot of trauma and she is a survivor. Back then you did not know if you would make it to the United States all the way from Yugoslavia. Thank God that my mom made it because we would not be here if it was not for her never thought about it like this, but now I do I love my mom and dad. May my dad RIP.

Tara – Forever? Doubts, fears and loneliness.

Paul – I am still effected from it since my childhood . Your growing up feeling isolated and paranoid thinking gets in the way. I find it hard to make friends and have trust issues.

Lynn – I don’t remember a time when I ever felt happy, safe, or secure. Instead, anxiety and depression were always a huge part of my life. My earliest memories are being passed around to anyone who was willing to babysit (my babysitters changed frequently) and of my narc father constantly shouting. If a family really doesn’t want a child, it is much kinder to put them up for adoption rather than ignoring and shunning them before they are able to talk. The second part is to figure out where all the unwanted children from previous relationships are supposed to live before handing out divorces and new marriage licenses. I ended up without a home because it was taken over by a skid row drunk. Thirteen year old kids don’t belong in the street because the person your father married now wants a divorce and to keep the home.

Jody – Anxiety and insecurity and failed relationships.

Shenequa – It affects your entire thought process as an adult.

Leanne – Waking up to your stolen innocence is painfully slow, but when a trigger breaks your memory open, even if it’s just a glimpse, you suddenly realize your blessed that your waking up is painfully slow. It’s slow because the release of a memory can take years to heal from -from a book I am writing titled: “Wake up, Annie.”

Kaye – To be understood.

Sandi – How important it is as a parent to believe your child! And being quiet and pretending it never happened doesn’t make it go away! For parents, please get your child help when you find out! Or it will haunt them for the rest of their lives! Trust me, I know!

Kaye – The pain of my childhood still affects my relationships now. I have been diagnosed with ptsd. No one wants to hear my story in my circle of family and friends. My husband totally understands. People say just get over it. People go away. They give me more credit for things. I feel like I am disappearing.

Jazlyn – It changes u.

Susan – I’ve been abused most of my life. Including, sexually, emotionally, physically, mentally and financially. It’s something that is hard to explain and accept, but it happens. It is NOT OKAY. Although you can heal and overcome, no one deserves that treatment. Most of the abuse came from family. Don’t underestimate your need to protect those you love. Don’t protect the abuser. Don’t be a part of it. I’ve suffered with anxiety, PTSD, and depression. There is hope! Lean on Jesus Christ. He can get you through. I’m proof of that.

Brandy – Abusers are hiding in plain sight, in every race, in every economic sector, in every type of job… He or she can be from that “good” family and still be a child molester.

Patricia – No matter how long ago it has been, that pain lingers inside as though it had happened today. I have shown mercy towards my abuser by forgiving but not forgetting. I recognize not many can take the path of forgiveness as I have done, I only did it to find closure to the past.

Sharon – You never trust again.

Veronica – Teach your kids what’s proper touching & what’s not, let them know it’s okay to tell someone if they feel uncomfortable.. Let them know that “NO MEANS NO”!!!

Jonathan – That it doesn’t ever go away and though the scars may not always be visible the abuse always leaves it’s mark.

John – That if you are one who stands with an abuser, you are just as guilty as the perp. #StandUpToChildAbusers

Emily – That my ptsd makes me suffer from insomnia and most nights even with meds I don’t sleep at all or if I do it’s not very well because of the nightmares. Because even though abuse stopped when I got adopted at 4 and 1/2 and am now 22 the memories still creep in. And also that it’s hard for me to automatically trust anyone with my abusers name. They have to earn it and after they do most of the time they get called a nickname.

Jon – Educate others and listen to children. I was 4 and it continued for several years by an uncle. The pain the scars never go away. I am 38 I have flashbacks and nightmares to this day I am still in therapy I don’t know if it will ever go away I don’t think so I am successful with my family and my career. I love and protect my children and I am super vigilant of them. There is so much as a survivor some days I feel like a small helpless child other days I feel like a warrior.

Litza – This is something that happened to me that I had no control over. It is a part of me and that will never change. I see the world much differently because my ability to trust people was snatched away from me.

Erika – The worse thing ever said me me “put your big girl shoes on and move on!” I would want this person to know: Those words are so hurtful, they re-open scars that were healing. It’s damaging to an already damaged soul.

Caryn – Constant fear, guilt, shame, anxiety, loneliness and loss of self esteem and motivation.

Krystian – The pain is still there it dulls down a little bit never goes away. And in extreme cases like mine I have PTSD and there are a lot of triggers I have to conquer and people need to be supportive and be there for us. Not year us down and say that was the past you need to get over it. That hurts too.

Angela – You can not just “get over it” or “move on” “let it go already” we ALL have different ways to cope…not always the best ways, but it’s coping.

Sue – Sometimes its from those you trusted the most. It was something i always knew. I didn’t think it was wrong. It was never discussed. There was never anything done about it. It created a major sexual addiction for me. I never understood why because the most traumatic and violent episodes were blocked. Finally figuring out where the physical scars came from and how they got there has been a major disruption of sanity. Yet facing it and finally releasing it has been an eye opening experience.

Marjy – I wish I could say. Watch for my book.

Gina – Who is still contacting me now and I am 48 years old and my mother still denies it – her boyfriend. I pray every night for their dirt nap. Please help me pray for Donald and Celia quick for peace for my #Socalledleftfutureofrapedemiseandalmostsuicide.

Alisa – The pain never goes away the trans is hard to get past.

Beth – Child in Human trafficking.

Mal – That it has affected every fascet of my life and my relationships with every single person in my life in a derogatory manner. I am in my 70’s and it is still like that.

Courtney – My son nearly lost his life. He is now saving thousands. I created Eli’s Law which just passed the House and Senate. We are awaiting the Governor’s signature.

Robin – PAY ATTENTION TO THE SIGNS AND DON’T LET JUST ANYONE AROUND YOUR KIDS, NOT EVEN FAMILY MEMBERS. AND, WHEN A CHILD TELLS YOU THERE IS A PROBLEM, OR THAT THEY HAVE BEEN HARMED, BELIEVE THEM. BE A HAVEN FOR THAT CHILD SO THAT HE/SHE CAN COME TO YOU. DO NOT RULE YOUR CHILDREN WITH FEAR.

Jubilee – That it is not only physical or sexual abuse that is occurring. Emotional & psychological abuse are just as damaging, harder to see for what they are, and so difficult to explain.

Alicia – as the years go on & the parent either never filed for divorce or for whatever dumb reason stayed in the marriage. they are giving the impression that what the child did is their fault & they should of spoken out. well excuse the poor broken child for not being a college educated & have common sense about those things. they are busy enjoying being a child, having fun, doing fun stupid things to always remember & talk about in the future. when they get to high school & become an adult they will be psychologically, mentally & emotional, heck probably even physically, unstable, confused, & going berserk cuz they have no idea what is wrong with them. what makes it worse is not having them see a psychiatrist & telling them “get over it”. help your child, tell them you are there for them. they need your help!

Jacquelene – That not only is that child injured – physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually ….. For Life; that it can have negative effects, even with extensive Counseling services. Thus – unintended effects on all close to that child-to adult. Many such abused children … are unable to have children of their own.

Melissa – That you are not alone, nor are you responsible for carrying the burden of their faults.

Amanda – If you think something has happened to your child, don’t let them give you the brush off. Telling an adult is never easy, even when asked directly.

Charmaine – That abusers cannot be “reformed” or “fixed.”

Bernadette – Abusers are sneaky and manipulative. I tell my students to tell someone they trust if anyone ever makes them feel uncomfortable. No matter who it is.

Josephine – To be believed.

Rachel – I was sexually abused by my mother. I once had a psychiatrist tell me it would have been better to be abused by a man… I mean really??? WTF???!!! Never let it be said that being abused by a woman is less painful! Physically yes, but definitely not emotionally!!! Not to mention I have huge trust issues! I don’t trust anyone ever!!!

Gina – That the Damage is REAL…As is the ability to HEAL.

Nancy – Shame, hurt, addiction. : (

Lisa – That 44 years later it still has me held hostage. I will never be “normal”. CPTSD has such a hold on me, I can barely function.

Angela – I was diagnosed with a variety of things, one main one is Stockholm Syndrome- I empathize for the abusers (even though I was abused for 8 years). Now being a mother to a daughter and son, I’m able to manipulate my mind to what it should be, to what is right (to an extent). It wasn’t the physical abuse for me, it was the mental abuse for me. And when I made my video to support fellow adults and children and tell my story, I had over 400 views….3 people talked to me about it. 3. My mom, who is struggling by blaming herself. My sister, who the abuse also happened to. And a friend, that surprised me. People are embarrassed and don’t know what to say, in topics such as this. It’s unfortunate, it’s as common to that of a disease or cancer that you had no control of. Disease or cancer is socially acceptable (yet still unfortunate, of course). The difference is, one can be spoke about and the other cannot. To all survivors out there – don’t let your accuser continue to rule your life. Embrace the changes, make the changes, live and love your life.

Shannon – Being taught that your parents are the ones that will hurt you is one of the worst things that can be done to a child. As an adult I still wonder what it would be like if somebody had cared for me when I was growing up. When ever I talk to my dad I wish that he loved me enough to stop calling me names and to stop cursing at me. That he loved me enough when I was growing up that I didn’t have to fear, even as an adult, that he will blow up at me and strike me. I wish I didn’t have to become an adult at such a young age, hiding my siblings so they would not have to face his rage. Or to have to realize at the age of 10 that no one could save me.

Rachel – There is a reason why kids don’t get good grades or look shabby. Investigate don’t ignore!

Jen – Your self esteem never truly recovers. PTSD never goes away. Scars fade, but memories last forever. It effects every relationship you have from there on out.

Sarah – It’s soul destroying, the cruelest experience anyone could ever go through, heart wrenching.

Gareth – It’s survivable, just.

Kerri – I will never know how to trust. I’ve been with my person for 22-yrs. He can not pin me, tickle me, hold my face, i will never play the trust game.I could never imagine falling back in his arms, but he knows that’s me and nothing to do with him not loving me.

Levi – That we can overcome the abuse and live a happy and successful life!

Connie – That even if your child has a history of being a troublemaker, believe them when they tell you they were abused. Also many times a child is abused by someone they know either family friend or relative someone you think you can trust. Telling the victim its not their fault or they are not to blame is important but it still does not mean the person can get over it. Even if the victim feels not responsible the trauma is still very real.

Sandra – Process it and make peace with it BEFORE you have children otherwise it will emotionally cripple you.

Trena- That the victim should never be blamed, and they need to be told that as much as possible. That the child will never be the same again. That therapy is absolutely necessary.

Fiona – haunting.

Robin – It made me more aware of people and always “on guard”. As others have said it never goes completely away.

Melanie – Never doubt that your child is telling you the truth when they tell you they are being abused. Your support is crucial in the healing process molds who they may become as adults.

Veldora – It [email protected] up all your life. Reeeeeal struggle to learn trust…. been a long hard fought battle…. I hate for anyone to suffer any abuses as a child, taints your life forever.

Lisa – Those in positions of authority, or have connections with those in positions of authority, have lots of friends and power. It is difficult, if impossible, to ever get anyone to believe anything against those types because they are usually so well known and liked, these are also the types who will do outrageous things to make the stories sound even less believable. Doesn’t mean they didn’t occur and someone who expressed something fitting the above description shouldn’t immediately be written off as mentally unstable or a liar.

Jade – It affects me daily… in the smallest to the largest ways. It’s hard to explain to ANYONE. Once you do let someone in and tell them about it some relief comes. Sometimes that relief is short-lived. Some people will never understand and some people will use the openness you have about it against you. Some people claim you are playing victim…. but we were victims…. like I said some people will never understand. Each day is really hard. Growing up did not magically make you better. Therapy even sometimes does not help. Sleeping is hard and sometimes scary. Nightmares are almost a guarantee… it leaves you angry. Not just angry but it leaves you feeling incomplete in so many ways. Having your innocence TAKEN from you especially by people who are suppose to protect you is very traumatic. The trauma is very real and long lasting…. all that is just from the act itself… going through foster care and being ripped from your family and feeling unwanted and being shuffled around and not being able to trust anyone is a whole different level to this whole thing. Then you grow up and turn into an adult… with no real stability or tools to break the cycle. .. so you get into abusive relationships and have few long term friendships. You pretty much go through your whole life feeling alone. Feeling empty. Feeling like you somehow did something so terrible that this is your punishment. You end up blaming yourself and others help that by telling you “you could be different” “let the past stay in the past ” “you’re an adult now stop dwelling on your childhood”…. so many people will never understand. I’m okay with people not understanding because in order for them to really get it they would have to go through it…. they would have had to walk in my shoes and after 32 years of pain… of anger… of mistrust… of hurt. …. I would never wish that on my worst enemy. So we go on day to day silently dealing with the things we deal with on a daily basis… if someone happens to ask us why we aren’t smiling more or what’s wrong… we reply with “I’m just tired” or “I’m fine” or something of that nature. We have learned that people aren’t interested in the real dirty details of what made us this way… they just want us to smile and be okay… be okay for them not for us… because it’s easier to just believe someone is tired than to recognize and accept that they are dealing with things that most people would NEVER know how to deal with for even a second. Life is hard… we were victims… but we become SURVIVORS??? Love and prayers to those who have walked in shoes like mine. My heart is with you.

Sharon – It doesn’t define who you are as a person. You are a victim of a horrible crime. Don’t ever let someone tell you that its your fault. You keep telling an adult until someone actually listens and believes you.

Bonnie – You need to BELIEVE the person who says they were abused by someone and NOT BELIEVE THE ABUSER. All abusers will LIE through their teeth to cover their butts and keep themselves out of jail. Don’t be a an abuse enabler. Would you want your own child to have to deal with this for the rest of his or her life? I didn’t think so. Watch carefully and you will know who to believe.

Twyla – Yes, there are times when it all comes back and leaves me so totally breathless, but I have learned to fill my life with new memories by doing and those things that bring joy to my life and have no link to the past whatsoever.

LeAnn – Sometimes it goes from abuse to murder and destroys a family.

Nyssa – That it’s not something you can just “get over” and also just because we were abused by our parents doesn’t make it alright for others to abuse us now.

Penny – It’s real! It happens more than most want to realize or acknowledge. We do not have a choice, we live with it each day of our lives. STOP making the victims feel as if we did something wrong! Listen and try to understand!

Gerry – T-R-U-S-T? Something almost impossible to do.

Donnie – This hurts deeply very deeply.

Ashley – It creates many psychological and emotional issues in adult life. My dad was one of my bullies growing up… I ended up being engaged 2x to abusive men and now have PTSD. I blame it on my childhood… To me- being told I wasn’t worthy was normal.

Heather – It has made it harder for me to interact “normally” on a daily basis. It has affected my fears, my thought process, my reality. I feel like an “outsider”. People who have not experienced it do not understand, the profound, permanent impact it has on every aspect of your life past, present & future.

Mike – Patience, caring, and do not judge.

Chelsea – I hate being told I should “be over it” by now, especially on my bad days. I’ve heard it so much that even I question if I should be over it. I’ve grown and changed so much since it happened, but there are still things that affect me daily because of it.

Jane – it doesn’t install respect for humanity it installs trust issues and fear.

Jenna – I was covered up with shame, guilt, insecurities, misconceptions, rebellion, addictions, violent relationships… for 50 years… but the right therapist helped me peel those emotions out of my mind. I still have PTSD over a lot of childhood issues… but nothing like it was before. Don’t assume anything about your child. If you suspect any abuse… have your child examined and most of all, love that child… be there for them… don’t make them feel bad or dirty and threaten them with abandonment! End the violence & abuse!!!!

Connie – You never forget.

Carolyn – Where there once was a cloud there is now sun.

Hanna – Not talking about it does not prevent it. Educate educate educate! And believe them right away if they tell you it may be the only time they tell you , follow your intuition my mom ignored hers and all the red flags so I suffered 6-16 yrs of age and now I am 28 and falling apart.

Stephanie – It’s made me more aware and more watchful of others because I was never abused and I never abused my children in any way I feel horrible for anyone who is or has been there is absolutely no reason for it.

Becky – It is a Life Time Trauma!

Verleen – You never ‘get over’ it.

Kevin – It has made me the strong, empowered woman I am today. It is only a roadblock if you let it be.

Nana – NEVER means a lifetime for victims.

Angela – You can not just “get over it” or “move on” “let it go already” we ALL have different ways to cope…not always the best ways, but it’s coping.

Mika – It hurts forever. I don’t know how to forgive.

Shannon – I wish I would have told a family member I trusted that I was being abused.

Julie – Wow, what a question. I would have a long answer.

Patricia – When a child tells you their being abused, please believe them.

Crystal – I trust no one, I never have, and never will.

Options for Abuse Victims

Posted by Sandra On March - 1 - 2016 ADD COMMENTS

Deciding What to do After a Crime

download (2)If you are a victim of crime, you may have to cope with challenges you never expected to face. You may have been wounded or lost property you can’t afford to replace. You may be overwhelmed by fear or anger. And you may not know what to do next or where to turn for help. Victim advocates can help you figure out what steps to take and what choices you may need to make. Victim advocates include paid and unpaid service providers working in a variety of settings to respond to crime victims’ mental, physical, financial, social, emotional, and spiritual needs. Advocates can offer advice on how to stay safe and give you information on medical, mental health, and victim services in your community. Below are some of the options you may want to explore, either on your own or with the help of a victim advocate. READ MORE HERE

Volunteers Needed for Research

Posted by Sandra On February - 12 - 2016 ADD COMMENTS

Male Partners of Women Who Are Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse Needed for Dissertation Research

images (2)I am Tonya Thomas, a doctoral candidate in the Couple and Family Therapy program at Alliant International University currently completing my dissertation under the supervision of Dr. Alba Nino. I am conducting a study about the therapeutic needs of male partners of women who are survivors of childhood sexual abuse. Participants in this study will be asked to share information about their experiences while in couple’s therapy with the survivor of childhood sexual abuse. This study has been approved by the Alliant International University Institutional Review Board (IRB).

I am writing to ask if you would kindly share the attached flier with others who may be interested in participating in my study, or who may have contact with potential participants. This study is focused as you will see on the partner’s experience of conjoint/couples therapy, and not on the sexual abuse survivor. Below is a bit more of what I’ll be sharing with potential participants before they are interviewed.

Below is the info presented to participants who have met criteria:

This research project is a qualitative study designed to help researchers and therapists better understand the therapeutic needs of the male partners of female childhood sexual abuse survivors. Participants in this study will be asked to share information about their experiences of therapy while in couple’s therapy with the survivor of childhood sexual abuse.

Academic and Professional Publication of this Research Study:
The results of this study will be presented in a doctoral dissertation and published in scientific journals, and may be presented at professional meetings, conferences, or published articles, as long as you are not identified and cannot reasonably be identified from it. Findings of this study may be published for professional and academic purposes. Publications will include descriptions of themes, quotes, and statements that emerge during the interviews, however names or any identifying information will not be disclosed or revealed in any published materials.

Potential Benefits:
The direct benefit to you may be that you learn more about your experience and have the opportunity to reflect on positive changes you have made in your life and your relationships. Others may benefit too in learning about your experience, knowledge, and information gained from this study. And, therapists may learn to more effectively provide assistance and therapeutic services to partners of childhood sexual abuse survivors.

Potential Risks:
There may be risks to participate in this study. Although the focus of this research study is on your experience, feelings of mild anxiety may arise after reflecting on the impact of couples’ therapy and your relationship with your intimate partner who has experienced childhood sexual abuse. Answering these questions may result in you having to reflect on painful and traumatic experiences of your relationship and the experiences you had or didn’t have in therapy.

You may temporarily feel that you are back in that time being described. If any of these occur and feel unmanageable, you may stop the interview at any time. You may also take a break at any time throughout the interview. Time will be spent at the end of the interview to answer any questions or concerns and/or process any emotions that may have surfaced during the interview. The researcher will spend whatever time is necessary to make sure you do not leave feeling emotionally overwhelmed or at risk. Resources and/or referrals to your local area will be made upon request.

Confidentiality and Anonymity Statement:
As a participant in this research study, you have the right to privacy and all information leading to identification will be kept confidential, unless otherwise required by law. *California law mandates the filing and reporting of reasonable suspicions of child (if the child is still under the age of 18) or elder abuse. Participation in this research could result in the researcher being required to report child or elder abuse. For example, if information is disclosed where children under the age of 18 are currently living with or are in close contact with someone who has been identified as abusing another person, regardless if they have or have not been legally charged, will be reported to the local child protection services or the police. It is also possible that under certain circumstances, data could be subpoenaed by court order. Additional reportable exceptions to confidentiality include suicidality and homicidality. *Indicate appropriate state for participant’s geographic location.

The researcher will take every precaution to keep the participant’s identification anonymous by use of a pseudonym chosen by the participant or assigned by the researcher. The audio recording of the interview will be transcribed by an outside professional transcription service who has signed a confidentiality agreement binding him/her to keep all information heard through the interview confidential. No demographics or other identifying information will be provided to the outside professional transcription service. If identifying information is mistakenly disclosed during the recorded interviews, the identifying information will be removed during the transcription process. She/he will return all audio recordings and transcribed data to the researcher upon completion of this interview.

Storage of and Destruction of Data:
Demographics or any other identifying information will be stored separate from the audio recordings and transcribed data in order to keep confidentiality and anonymity of the research participant. Unedited data transcripts will only be seen by the researcher, the transcriber, and the dissertation committee chair to ensure anonymity. Upon publication of the doctoral dissertation, any and all identifying information of the participant will be destroyed by the researcher. Hard copy files with identifying information will be shredded, electronic copies with identifying information will be deleted, and the email account used for communication during the study will be deleted by the researcher. All data and audio recordings where the identifying information has been removed, will be kept by the researcher indefinitely for future use, upon signed approval by the participant on the consent form.

Contact Information:
If you have any questions regarding this research study or your participation, you may contact any of the following between the hours of 8 a.m. and 5 p.m. Pacific Time.

Thank you in advance for your support.

Tonya Thomas, M.S., Friends University
Doctoral Student of Alliant International University, Irvine, Ca.
714-881-9447
[email protected]

Dissertation Chair: Dr. Alba Nino
Assistant Professor – Alliant International University
(858) 635-4708
[email protected]

20 Signs of Unresolved Trauma

Posted by Sandra On January - 31 - 2016 ADD COMMENTS

cd9b11d6d09ba67f617cb78284bb7fa0Many people enter the therapy process with minimal awareness of their trauma history.  When the trauma survivors are dissociative, they have the ability to block out an awareness of their trauma.  They may know that their family had problems, or that their family was dysfunctional, etc, but they may believe they were never abused.

However, blocking out conscious awareness of trauma does not mean that the survivors have no effects of that trauma.  Using denial and dissociative skills does not mean that the abuse did not happen.  Denial means that the person simply is refusing to acknowledge or accept the fact that they were traumatized.  They are pretending they were not hurt, when they were actually hurt very badly.

Even if the memories of abuse are hidden from the survivor’s awareness, blocked trauma / unresolved trauma creates very noticeable and obvious symptoms that can be easily seen in their every day lives. People will enter therapy aware of some of the following symptoms, but they may not realize these complications are suggestive of unresolved trauma issues: READ MORE HERE

(PHOTO: This powerful photo of emotional pain and inner turmoil was taken by Shaylin Janelle photography. http://shaylinjanelle.tumblr.com )

New U.S. Data Shows Almost 3% Rise In Child Abuse

Posted by Sandra On January - 25 - 2016 ADD COMMENTS

imagesThe number of U.S. children victimized by abuse and neglect increased by nearly 3 percent in the latest annual reporting period, according to new federal data. According to the report released Monday by the Department of Health and Human Services, the estimated number of victimized children in the 2014 fiscal year was 702,208 — up from 682,307 in 2013. The report estimated fatalities attributable to child abuse and neglect at 1,580 — up from 1,530 in 2013. READ MORE HERE

2014 Children’s Advocacy Center Statistics Highlights 

2014 Full Child Advocacy Center Statistics

Among the over 315,000 children served by Children’s Advocacy Centers around the country in 2014, some startling statistics include:

  • 116,940 children were ages 0 to 6 years
  • 115,959 children were ages 7 to 12 years
  • 81,025 children were ages 13 to 18 years
  • 205,438 children reported sexual abuse
  • 60,897 children reported physical abuse
  • 211,831 children participated in on-site forensic interviewing at a Children’s Advocacy Center

Among the over 244,000 alleged offenders investigated for instances of child abuse in 2014, some startling statistics include:

  • 154,529 were 18+ years old
  • 26,294 were ages 13 to 17 years
  • 20,040 were under age 13 years
  • 95,913 were a parent or step-parent of the victim
  • 127,358 were related or known to the child victim in another way
  • 23,696 were an unrelated person the victim knew

U.S. Department of Health and Human Services: Administration for Children & Families. Child Maltreatment 2013.http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cb/resource/child-maltreatment-2013  

National Children’s Alliance 2013 and 2014 national statistics collected from Children’s Advocacy Center members and available on the NCA website: http://www.nationalchildrensalliance.org/cac-statistics

 

Dangerous Apps for Kids

Posted by Sandra On January - 5 - 2016 ADD COMMENTS

dangerousappsWhile there are many apps out there, the New Year brings new apps that should really be on every parent’s Blacklist. These apps, also known as Hidden or Vault Apps, pose dangers and many times go under the radar – disguising themselves as every day tools, such as calculators.

  • Snapchat: One of the most popular apps for sexting among teens. Sexts can be saved even though they are supposed to disappear.
  • Kik Messenger:  Tweens and teens also Kik to send sexts. Predators can contact your child via Kik and send unsolicited sexts.
  • Tinder: No age verification means your child could be “matched with adults on this popular dating app. Tinder has had security breaches that exposed user data and location.
  • Blendr: There are no age requirements for this dating app, allowing adults to contact children. GPS features can reveal the location of your child to diligent predators.
  • Down: Lets a user sort Facebook friends they are “down” to hook up with. It perpetuates “hookup” culture among young teens.
  • Periscope: From their website, ” Just over a year ago, we became fascinated by the idea of discovering the world through someone else’s eyes. What if you could see through the eyes of a protester in Ukraine? Or watch the sunrise from a hot air balloon in Cappadocia? It may sound crazy, but we wanted to build the closest thing to teleportation. While there are many ways to discover events and places, we realized there is no better way to experience a place right now than through live video. A picture may be worth a thousand words, but live video can take you someplace and show you around.”
  • Whisper: Whisper is an anonymous confession app. It allows users to superimpose text over a picture in order to share their thoughts and feelings anonymously. However, you post anonymously, but it displays the area you are posting from. You can also search for users posting within a mile from you.
  • Ask.fm: Ask.fm is one of the most popular social networking sites that is almost exclusively used by kids. It is a Q&A site that allows users to ask other users questions while remaining anonymous.
  • Yik Yak: An app that allows users to post text-only “Yaks” of up to 200 characters. The messages can be viewed by the 500 Yakkers who are closest to the person who wrote the Yak, as determined by GPS tracking.
  • Omegle: This app is primarily used for video chatting. When you use Omegle, you do not identify yourself through the service. Instead, chat participants are only identified as “You” and “Stranger.” However, you can connect Omegle to your Facebook account to find chat partners with similar interests. When choosing this feature, an Omegle Facebook App will receive your Facebook “likes” and try to match you with a stranger with similar likes.
  • ChatRoulette and Vine– These apps allow you to video chat with strangers.
  • Poof: This app allows users to make other apps “disappear” on their phone. Kids can hide any app they don’t want you to see by opening the app and selecting other apps.

Bullying 

burn note app logoBurn Note  –  This is a messaging app where all messages self-destruct (delete) after reading. This app only uses text messaging. Users cannot send images or videos. Parents would have no evidence that a conversation took place. This can lead to bullying or sexting or any other dangerous practice, and parents would have no idea.

afterschool appAfter School – The description for this app in the app store says it is an anonymous and private message board for your school. This app originally launched in late 2014. But after reports of threats of school shootings on the app, it was taken down. (Burns, 2014) It was rereleased a couple of months ago with new safety features in place. (Burns, 2015) However, we are still concerned about this app since users can still post anonymously, although there is now an option to post under your real name.

Hiding Apps

private photo logoBest Secret Folder – This is an iOS app that allows users to store photos secretly. The app icon is called “My Utilities” so others don’t even realize the app is on the phone.

gallery lock app logoGallery Lock – This is similar to Best Secret Folder, but it’s for Android users. It also offers a “watchdog” feature, which will snap a photo of the user with the front facing camera after 3 failed password attempts.

kyms logoKYMS (Keep Your Media Safe) –  This iOS and Android app hides all media including photos, videos, texts, documents, and PDFs.  It is disguised as a calculator app.

private photo logoPrivate Photo (Calculator %) – This is another app designed to hide photos. The app looks just like a calculator, except in the bottom right corner of the app icon is a % symbol. Users enter a code on what looks to be a working calculator. They can then access their storage of secret photos.

Video Recording and Sharing

meerkat logoMeerkat –  This app captures live streaming video through a mobile device. Users can link their Meerkat account to their Twitter or Facebook account to share their live streaming videos to followers. The problems with this are numerous. Live streaming opens the door to cyberbullying and predators.

periscope logoPeriscope – Similar to Meerkat. Periscope was just released this year, but users are already reporting sexual assault and bullying. (Tempesta, 2015)

Location Sharing – Click here for instructions on how to turn off location sharing on your child’s iPhone.

foursquare-logoFoursquare –  This is an app that allows users to geotag their exact location at any time. Problems with this are obvious to us as adults. But we need to teach our children why this is so dangerous.

Periscope –  We mention this one again because the app has a location-sharing feature that is on by default and must be turned off. Most teens will forget to do this, or not recognize the importance of this.

Social Media

9gag_logo9Gag.com –  This is an image and video sharing site. Users can upload a video or image to share. Then the videos or images are voted up or down, and users can leave comments. Some posts are cute and fun. But most are not. Users can even browse the NSFW (Not Safe For Work) section. NSFW videos are blacked out until a user clicks the button to play the video. But nothing is stopping anyone, including children and teens, from seeing the inappropriate content.

reddit logoReddit Forums – This is a social media website. The app for Reddit is actually called Alien Blue. Content is organized into “subreddits” according to topics. There are subreddits dedicated specifically to porn. A user only needs to click a button confirming they are 18 to enter these subreddits.

Miscellaneous

ifunny logoiFunny :)   – This is an image based joke app. “There’s enough swearing, sexual banter, soft porn images, and rude and hateful comments to negate anything else in the mix that’s remotely funny” (Villamagna, n.d.).

paltalk logoPaltalk – This app allows users to communicate in a group chat via video, Internet chat and voice.

Adult Player – (We did not include the app icon as it is pornographic.) This is an android app that does not appear in any vetted storefronts, such as Google Play. Instead, users install the app directly from a website. It is said to offer free porn. But it’s actually something called ransomware. The app uses the cameras forward facing camera to secretly capture an image of the user. The user is then locked out of the phone until a $500 ransom is paid.       

Texting

oovoo logo ooVoo

whatsapp logoWhatsApp

Micro-blogging

instagram app logo Instagram

tmblr app logoTumblr

twitter app logo Twitter

vine app logoVine

Chatting, Meeting, Dating

meet me logo MeetMe

skout app logoSkout

Other Useful Information

Lifestyle and photography categories on iTunes are the most likely categories to contain porn since iTunes doesn’t have a porn or “adult” category like Android. Apple does not allow true nudity, but people in their underwear are okay. And of course, some slip by.

Apple’s most recent update, iOS 9, has a way to hide pictures on your phone, no app needed.

How to Keep Your Kids Safe

It is necessary for parents to stay educated as new apps and social media sites become available. But obviously no parent can be on top of everything all the time. So the most important thing we can do as parents is to communicate with our children. Here are some other tips.

  • BE THE PARENT. Don’t allow your child to roam free in the dangerous and unhealthy environments many of these apps provide. Click on any apps you don’t recognize on your child’s phone.
  • Discuss the hidden dangers of social media that teens may not recognize. On many live streaming videos, tweens and teens can be seen giving out their full names and the city and state in which they live. Kids need to be taught not to over share on the Internet.
  • Set restrictions on their cell phones and check the phone often.
  • Internet filters are also a great option. But no filter will stop everything; so establishing yourself as someone your teen can talk to is vital.

This new world we live in can be scary. But if we are prepared and open with our kids, we can help them safely navigate social media.

The most important thing you can do as a parent to protect your children from dangers that are associated with the use of these apps is to talk with them frequently about their social lives. You can start by establishing yourself as an approachable parent and talking with them early and often about sexuality and romantic relationships. Without a strong bond and open communication, trying to regulate and monitor Internet use won’t be very effective. However, setting technology boundaries (when and where they access the Internet) and monitoring their online behavior can be effective if you have a strong foundation to build on. You can access a list of monitoring software I recommend here. Just remember to keep on top of it, there is no software that can eliminate risk or the need to parent. Ultimately, your goal is to raise an individual who can manage his/her online and offline behavior in a healthy way because he/she wants to. The process starts with you nurturing a strong emotional bond, leading by example and setting the boundaries. You can do it!

The Most Dangerous Apps for Kids | Family Tech Zone

5 Dangerous Apps You Don’t Know Your Kids Are Using

Banned: Most Dangerous iPhone Apps – CBS News

SOURCES:
TeenSafe
Educate Empower Kids 

 

 

Toxic Family Members

Posted by Sandra On January - 2 - 2016 ADD COMMENTS

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Toxic Family Members Who Scapegoat

We tend to think of bullying as something that happens in the school yard amongst kids who are being mean and abusive to one another. However, over the many years of my practice I have come across cases in which the client presented with the problem and complaint that they felt picked on and excluded from their family of origin. They were distressed, anxious and depressed over this problem despite the fact that they had their own families with husbands or wives, children, careers and friends. Yet, they were experiencing life as though they were children living in their parental home.

Incredible as it might seem, there are families that scapegoat a loved one even into and including adulthood. For a variety of reasons we will explore one member becomes the target of accusations, blame, criticism and ostracism. While it’s happening, family members are totally unaware of what they are doing and would deny it if confronted with their behavior. Often, scapegoating begins in childhood and continues into and throughout adulthood.

Why would a family choose a loved one to bully and scapegoat? The answer has a lot to do with the concept of scapegoating and the purpose it serves. Scapegoating is often a way for families to hide problems that they cannot face. In the examples of cases I have worked with one or both parents were abusive to their children. In adulthood, scapegoating became a way for adult children to hide the fact of family history of abuse by blaming everything on one member who seemed vulnerable for attack. At times the scapegoat targeted by the sibling who was always the favorite of the family. In that way, the less favored sibling becomes the repository of everything that is wrong in the family. READ MORE HERE

10 Things to Remember About Toxic Family Members

7 Signs It’s Time to Cut (Toxic) Family Ties

The Family Dynamics of Severe Child Abuse | Psychology

“What is “toxic family of origin?

Identifying Toxic Family Dynamics

Dysfunctional Family Rules and Roles

12 Steps to Breaking Free from Being the Family Scapegoat

 

Child Abuse Prevention Tactics

Posted by Sandra On December - 19 - 2015 ADD COMMENTS

Best prevention means aligning resources, coordinating efforts

images (1)Child abuse prevention resources must focus on evidence-based intervention strategies and aggregating sound data, but the buck doesn’t stop there. Enhancing safety and resilience for at-risk children crosses many disciplines, including medicine, public health, education, childcare, law enforcement, child protection and foster and adoptive families.

The best prevention starts with aligning resources, coordinating efforts and engineering a safe and healthy environment to strengthen families and communities at risk. Vulnerable children require a deep investment, and police, hospitals, schools, foundations and social service agencies are only the first to help in the prevention of child abuse. Each of these organizations and coalitions gives vital support to children and families at risk, but the bottom line is: Invest in our children today, and we’ll all reap the benefits for years to come.

Editorial: Stiffen child abuse penalty (and) New ways to reduce child abuse

Abstract

Ninety-one child sex offenders were interviewed about the methods they used to target children, the age range of their victims, how they selected children and maintained them as victims, and what suggestions they had for preventing child sexual abuse. Offenders were selected from treatment programs, probation, special hospitals, and prisons. They were interviewed using a semi-structured questionnaire. Results indicate that offenders gained access to children through caretaking, such as babysitting; targeted children by using bribes, gifts and games; used force, anger, threats, and bribes to ensure their continuing compliance; and systematically desensitized children through touch, talk about sex, and persuasion. Nearly half the offenders had no bad feelings about sexually abusing children. The implications for prevention programs are discussed.

Abuse Prevention

WHAT IS ABUSE AND NEGLECT?

According to the Missouri Legislature the following definitions apply to abuse and neglect:

ABUSE:

Any physical injury, sexual abuse, or emotional abuse inflicted on a child other than by accidental means by those responsible for the child’s care, custody, and control; except that discipline including spanking, administered in a reasonable manner, shall not be construed to be abuse.

NEGLECT:

The failure to provide the child the proper or necessary support, education as required by law, nutrition, medical, surgical, or care necessary for the child’s well-being by those responsible for their care, custody, and control. Those responsible for the care, custody, and control of the child include, but are not limited to, the parents or guardian of the child, other members of the child’s household, or those exercising supervision over a child for any part of a twenty-four hour day. Those responsible for the care, custody, and control shall also include any adult who, based on their relationship to the parents of the child of the child, members of the child’s household or family, has access to the child.

Source: 16th Circuit Court of Jackson County, MO.

RECOGNIZING CHILD ABUSE

The first step in helping abused or neglected children is learning to recognize the signs of child abuse and neglect. The presence of a single sign does not prove child abuse is occurring in a family, but a closer look at the situation may be warranted when these signs appear repeatedly or in combination.

The following signs may signal the presence of child abuse or neglect.

The Child:

  • Shows sudden changes in behavior or school performance
  • Has not received help for physical or medical problems brought to the parents’ attention
  • Has learning problems (or difficulty concentrating) that cannot be attributed to specific physical or psychological causes
  • Is always watchful, as though preparing for something bad to happen
  • Lacks adult supervision
  • Is overly compliant, passive, or withdrawn
  • Comes to school or other activities early, stays late, and does not want to go home

The Parent:

  • Shows little concern for the child
  • Denies the existence of—or blames the child for—the child’s problems in school or at home
  • Asks teachers or other caregivers to use harsh physical discipline if the child misbehaves
  • Sees the child as entirely bad, worthless, or burdensome
  • Demands a level of physical or academic performance the child cannot achieve
  • Looks primarily to the child for care, attention, and satisfaction of emotional needs

The Parent and Child:

  • Rarely touch or look at each other
  • Consider their relationship entirely negative
  • State that they do not like each other

Source: Child Welfare Information Gateway

Parental Resilience: Protective & Promotive Factors

Numerous researchers have concluded that how parents respond to stressors is much more important than the stressor itself in determining the outcomes for themselves and their children. Parents are more likely to achieve healthy, favorable outcomes if they are resilient. Resilience is the process of managing stress and functioning well even when faced with challenges, adversity and trauma. Some stressors parents face can be managed easily so that problems get resolved; for example, calling a relative or friend to pick-up a child from school when a parent is delayed. But some stressors cannot be easily resolved. For example, parents cannot “fix” their child’s developmental disability, erase the abuse they suffered as a child or be able to move out of a crime-plagued neighborhood. Rather, parents are resilient when they are able to call forth their inner strength to proactively meet personal challenges and those in relation to their child, manage adversities, heal the effects of trauma and thrive given the unique characteristics and circumstances of their family. READ MORE HERE

Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS)

Posted by Sandra On November - 29 - 2015 ADD COMMENTS

hqdefaultWhat is fetal alcohol syndrome?

To establish the diagnosis of fetal alcohol syndrome, specific criteria must be met. These include (1) documentation of three characteristic facial abnormalities, (2) documentation of smaller than expected prenatal and/or postnatal length, weight, and head circumference growth parameters, and (3) documentation of central nervous system abnormalities. These criteria will be further described later in this article.

Fetal alcohol syndrome facts

  • Combined 2011 to 2012 data from the National Survey on Drug Use and Health (NSDUH) show that 8.5 percent of pregnant women aged 15 to 44 drank alcohol in the past month. Also, 2.7 percent binge drank. Among women aged 15 to 44 who were not pregnant, 55.5 percent drank alcohol in the past month, and 24.7 percent binge drank. Most alcohol use by pregnant women occurred during the first trimester. Alcohol use was lower during the second and third trimesters than during the first (4.2 and 3.7 percent vs. 17.9 percent). These findings suggest that many pregnant women are getting the message and not drinking alcohol.
  • Infants of mothers who drank during pregnancy may experience a spectrum of consequences that range from “fetal alcohol effects” (FAE), alcohol-related birth defects(ARBD), and fetal alcohol syndrome (FAS). Fetal alcohol syndrome is regarded as the most severe.
  • Some children sustain no obvious side effects of maternal alcohol consumption during pregnancy.

What causes fetal alcohol syndrome?

Alcohol is rapidly transported via placental blood flow from mother to fetus and is known to cause miscarriage and birth defects. Within two hours of maternal ingestion, fetal alcohol blood levels are similar to maternal alcohol blood levels. There is no established relationship between the amount of alcohol consumed and side effects sustained by the infant. This puzzling observation may reflect the maternal rate of alcohol breakdown via her liver.

It has been observed that alcohol consumed at any time during pregnancy may be associated with severe and permanent consequences. First trimester pregnancy alcohol ingestion is linked to the characteristic facial abnormalities of FAS as well as a reduction of intrauterine growth rate. Alcohol consumption during the second trimester also contributes to lower IQ, growth retardation in length and birth weight, as well as cognitive deficits of reading, spelling, and math. Third trimester alcohol consumption amplifies retardation in birth length and ultimate adult height potential.
READ MORE HERE

Sexual Assault Prevention: A Guide for Students, Teachers, Admins

Posted by Sandra On November - 8 - 2015 ADD COMMENTS

Teal_RibbonAs reported by both the American Association of Universities and the White House Task Force to Protect Students from Sexual Assault, with few exceptions, educators and school administrators are falling short in the struggle to make our campuses safe places for women and men alike. An recent investigation by the Pulitzer Prize winning Center for Public Integrity concluded, “Students found ‘responsible’ for sexual assaults on campus often face little or no punishment from school judicial systems, while their victims’ lives are frequently turned upside down.”

As part of the heightened effort to respond to the crisis of campus-based sexual assault, the White House Task Force to Protect Students from Sexual Assault outlines a number of critical steps that institutions must take to lower and eventually eliminate sexual assault on campus. Among the Task Force’s key recommendations are the following: READ MORE HERE

INTRODUCTION

In late 2014, Emma Sulkowicz gained international attention when she started to carry a 50-pound mattress everywhere she went on the Columbia University campus in an effort to draw attention to the problem of sexual assault. Her action was part of a senior thesis project and protest piece called Mattress Performance (Carry that Weight). Sulkowicz initiated the performance after experiencing a sexual assault on campus and being forced to continue studying at the same institution as her assailant. Although her action did not lead to the assailant’s expulsion as hoped, it did raise awareness about the ongoing problem of campus sexual assault and how these assaults are frequently not taken seriously by school officials.

While Sulkowicz’s individual plight may be easy to ignore, recent statistics suggest that Sulkowicz is not alone. A 2015 study by theAmerican Association of Universities, which surveyed over 150,000 students at 27 colleges and universities—making it the largest study of its kind to date—discovered that 27.2% of female college students have experienced unwanted sexual contact on campus by their senior year and nearly half have experienced unwanted penetration, attempted penetration or oral sex. Equally shocking is the study’s finding that only half the students surveyed believe that their school officials are “very or extremely likely” to conduct a “fair investigation” when complaints about unwanted sexual contact and sexual assault on campus are brought forward.

Given the high frequency of sexual violence on college and university campuses and lack of confidence in school officials, what can be done to prevent sexual assault on our campuses and what specific roles can students, educators, administrators and parents play in sexual assault prevention?

EXPERT CONTRIBUTORS


  • Dr. Alan Berkowitz

    Dr. Alan Berkowitz is an independent consultant, licensed psychologist, educator, author, and nationally recognized expert on dating violence and bystander behavior. As a central figure in the development of Social Norms Theory, Dr. Berkowitz’s work as a researcher, psychologist and educator continues to draw attention to the problem of sexual assault and to empower men to take action against sexual violence.


  • Dr. Jill Hoxmeier

    Assistant Professor of Physical Education and Public Health at Central Washington University. She holds a PhD in Public Health from Oregon State University and is a Certified Health Education Specialist. Dr. Hoxmeier has published widely on the topics of sexual assault and dating violence.


  • Cait Etherington

    Cait holds a PhD in Education (York). Her essays, articles and reviews have been published in research journals across the United States and internationally. She also has over two decades of experience working as an educator. Cait has worked as a community educator, adult educator at the college level, and as a university professor, teaching courses and seminars at the undergraduate and graduate levels in education and the humanities.

60% Increase of Reported Abuse

Posted by Sandra On November - 4 - 2015 ADD COMMENTS

Reported child sexual abuse has risen 60% in last four years

images (1)ENGLAND/WALES – There has been a 60% increase in child sexual abuse reported to the police over the past four years, according to official figures which make public for the first time the scale of the problem in England and Wales. A House of Commons library analysis based on freedom of information releases by individual forces shows that the number of offences of child sexual abuse reported to the police has soared from 5,557 cases in 2011 to 8,892 last year.  Child sexual abuse includes grooming, facilitating abuse and child rape. READ MORE HERE

UNITED STATES STATISTICS:

Statistics on child abuse | NSPCC

Child abuse and neglect – World Health Organization

The national incidence study of child abuse and neglect

National Council On Child Abuse And Family Violence

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REPORT: 1 in 14 Childrens Parents Are Incarcerated

Posted by Sandra On October - 27 - 2015 ADD COMMENTS

BBmtNsIOne in 14 children have at least one parent behind bars and children in these situations suffer from low self esteem, poor mental and physical health, and other problems, a national research organization says. Child Trends, an organization based in Bethesda, Md., is releasing its report Parents Behind Bars: What Happens to Their Children? on Tuesday. The group hopes the findings will prod prisons, schools and lawmakers to make changes that will help young people who have incarcerated parents. READ MORE HERE

Trauma Recovery University: Survivor Live Stream, Support, Chats, Groups

Posted by Sandra On October - 17 - 2015 ADD COMMENTS

TRAUMA RECOVERY UNIVERSITY: The #NoMoreShame Project
HOSTS: Athena Moberg and Bobbi L. Parish

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Dreamcatchers for Abused Children is proud to announce “Trauma Recovery University” as an amazing resource for child abuse survivors. Athena Moberg and Bobbi L. Parish are trauma recovery coaches who host Live Interactive Video Broadcasts, Twitter Chats, Google Hangouts, and Facebook support groups that anyone is welcome to join at any time. These resources are aimed at survivors of childhood sexual abuse, but they would be helpful for survivors of any kind of childhood abuse. These women offer free online support and have helped thousands of survivors thus far. You can also watch their many child abuse survivors video archives on their YouTube channel.
_______________________________________________________________

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What started out as The #NoMoreShame Project, created by survivors and Authors, Rachel Thompson, Bobbi Parish, and Athena Moberg, originally existed to advocate for survivors of childhood sexual abuse by helping them tell their stories. Trauma Recovery University is now…Your Official Child Sexual Abuse Social Network: Come. Watch. Receive. Comment. Share. 

They have shared, grown, loved, and listened to survivors in 54 countries. Their first anthology, Discovering True, published Monday, November 17, 2014.  These are YOUR stories, fellow survivors. You are brave!  Volume I was made available November, 2014 on Amazon http://bit.ly/DiscoveringTrue

Trauma Recovery University has FREE resources anyone can tap into, aside from the videos, such as:

Twitter Chats 
We have two a week, both for adult survivors of sexual abuse.
The first is on Mondays at 10am PST, using the hashtag #CSAQT (which stands for Childhood Sexual Abuse Question Time)
The second is on Tuesday evening at 6pm PST. The hashtag for that chat is #SexAbuseChat

LIVE Broadcast
We broadcast our videos live each week on Mondays at 6pm PST. Anyone can watch us live at http://bit.ly/TraumaRecoveryU They can interact with us, make comments and ask questions by tweeting with the hashtag #NoMoreShame. We monitor that hashtag during the broadcast and answer questions live on the air.

Support Groups
We have several secret, private support groups on Facebook that survivors can also be added to.

Trauma Recovery Coach: Free Access to Self-Help Resources
Empower yourself! Access videos, handouts, e-books, and courses that will help you understand trauma and the trauma recovery process as well as how to make your own recovery simpler and faster. CLICK HERE
Email: [email protected]
Twitter: @TruthIsHers
Facebook: Facebook.com/ Bobbi.Parish

TRAUMA RECOVERY UNIVERSITY LINKS:

  • Email:       [email protected]
  • Visit Athena’s Site: http://AthenaMoberg.com
    Visit Bobbi’s Site: http://BobbiParish.com
    LIVE broadcast: They broadcast their videos live each week on Mondays at 6pm PST. Anyone can watch them live at http://bit.ly/TraumaRecoveryU . You can interact with them, make comments and ask questions by tweeting with the hashtag #NoMoreShame. They monitor that hashtag during the broadcast and answer questions live on the air.

    The #NoMoreShame Project:
    E-Mail: [email protected]
    Twitter: @NMSProject
    Facebook: Facebook.com/NoMoreShameProject

    ________________________________________­__

    Projects:
    Narcissistic Abuse Project: http://NarcDiaries.com
    Entrepreneurship Vlog: http://EntreTalk.com
    Teaching People How To Host Twitter Chats : http://2TweetGeeks.com
    Get Published in our next Anthology: http://NoMoreShameProject.com/anthology

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Twitter Info: 3 Weekly Chats w/
Mondays: 10amPT/1pmET  6pmPT/9ET (with video)
Tuesdays: 6pmPT/9ET

For Child Abuse Survivors: Our Child Sexual Abuse Survival Stories (Part 1)

For Child Abuse Survivors: Our Child Sexual Abuse Survival Stories (Part 2)

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Treatment for Abused Children

Posted by Sandra On September - 26 - 2015 ADD COMMENTS

Treatment for Abused and Neglected Children: Infancy to Age 18

treatmen_page_1The following manual provides an overview of the treatment of sexually abused, physically abused, and neglected children and is provided by Child Welfare. Child development is briefly reviewed and the study of developmental psychopathology is described. Aspects of child development are considered, including intrapersonal development, interpersonal development, physical development, sexual development, and behavioral conduct development. Consequences of abuse and neglect, assessment of maltreatment, the therapeutic process and the role of the therapist, treatment issues and specialized interventions, and case management are addressed. The manual provides a glossary of terms and list of resources for more detailed information. READ MANUAL HERE

 

Suggested Citation: Urquiza, A.J., Winn, C., & U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. (1994). Treatment for abused and neglected children: Infancy to age 18. Washington, DC: U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Children’s Bureau.

This material may be freely reproduced and distributed. However, when doing so, please credit Child Welfare Information Gateway.

Overcoming Childhood Adversity

Posted by Sandra On September - 22 - 2015 ADD COMMENTS

7 Ways Childhood Adversity Changes Your Brain

downloadEarly emotional trauma changes who we are, but we can do something about it. If you’ve ever wondered why you’ve been struggling a little too hard for a little too long with chronic emotional and physical health conditions that just won’t abate, feeling as if you’ve been swimming against some invisible current that never ceases, a new field of scientific research may offer hope, answers, and healing insights. READ MORE HERE
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OUR MISSION: To educate the public on child abuse signs & symptoms, statistics, intervention, reporting, prevention & assist victims & survivors in locating the proper resources necessary to enable & achieve a full recovery.

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